Annoying middle-upper class lady. Picks up here kids at school every day with an SUV or minivan to lug them off to some kind of sports practice. Commonly uses any combination of the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kid learning games websites for 45 minutes every day. If someone says "a bad word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. Her vehicle usually has a a football sticker or bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little retard of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to kid's music, old music or Christian music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her "angels" who still sit in a carseat at age 10. Her husband is her source of income.
Was in the grocery, picking up a copy of CS:GO and a dumb soccer mom comes by and yells at me for buying violent games, and proceeds to the topic of terrorism. I say "fuck off" and she then shouts "DON'T USE THAT LANGUAGE NEAR MY SON!" and proceeds to cover his ears. I check out and go home.
by Potatoforpresitend2025 October 18, 2016
Drives a van, wears sandals, blonde hair and has a kid that wears neon clothing. His name’s Brody. Only talks about Brody’s successes. Brody probably fucking sucks at soccer.
by Sigismund_Dikjstra June 17, 2018
by Buckwheatismycatsname July 05, 2018
The inventors of some of the most decadent things to come in the world such as the minivan, V-chip, ESRB and censorship.
by R.F March 04, 2012
Mostly a white, dry pussy 30-50 year old mother who drives a "5 star SUV" to protect her so called "little angels" (meaning her children). With the stench of Happy Meals in her SUV, they can be found daily, picking up their children from school, the chess club, swim team, soccer practice, etc. Soccer moms are often liberal, and bitch about everything, from violent video games to when some one burps and doesn't say "Excuse me." Soccer moms can also be found in groups, which is called an oh shit.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Rinaldi burped aloud in the gym, vausing it to echo. He was then given a 10 minute lecture from a soccer mom on how he needs some manners. Being the dumb shit he is, he calls her a bitch. This resorted in a school conference about profanity in the schools.
by Mr. Gzella January 15, 2007
A matriarchical parental unit who's parenting ethos is based on rigidity, indoctrination, and denial of everything that would otherwise make its kids more independent. Also opposes video games, guns, and self-defense. Often supports globalism and "peace." Is against rugged individualism. Tries to "break" its kids of their individuality.
A cabal of child-abusing soccer moms tried to abolish fun and got themselves shot dead by an underground resistance movement of Right-Wing vigilante Goths.
by Iggy Hazard January 16, 2004
Usually, a white 35-40 year old women named Karen or Clare. The soccer mom will do anything for her kids, except give them freedom of course. She controls their friends, music, TV and games. Their little bitch kids (sorry, little angles) are always super Christian and are a mindless drone, like their father. The relationship between the mother and son only last 17 years, as the mom will come in and find her son nailing 2 girls. At this point, the mom is completely unsure as to how to react as they have only had sex twice. The relationship between the daughter and mother will last longer. It usually makes it another year before the mom walkes in and finds the daughter smoking crack or getting nailed by John who playes football. The soccer mom's life cycle is now over as her sole purpose has left her.
Man: *playing a song with the word "crap" in it"
Soccer mom: HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH VILE MUSIC- rants for 10 more minutes
Man: mkay who gives a fuck *turns up the music*
Soccer mom: HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH VILE MUSIC- rants for 10 more minutes
Man: mkay who gives a fuck *turns up the music*
by A Salty Carrot May 06, 2019