by AlmightyDuckie November 6, 2017
Get the simpin song mug.Melon Simpitis is defined as a psychological disorder, that is in every male, but sometimes controlled by some, that plagues all males, whenever a girl approaches, they become extreme simps. This happens and is not limited to Discord, IG, Snapchat, Facebook, or even real life.
Kind of like veelas from Harry Potter, or Sirens from Greek Mythology, but this is very real.
Symptoms (Hah, simptoms):
- People suddenly act polite, offer to send money/buy things for her
- They want to marry her (using the MarriageBot in Discord)
- They want to write about her 'bodily functions' :/ -- These are literal symptoms, not exaggerations
- They want to change their profile to match hers
- They want to charm her and show her that they have good jokes
- They defend her whenever she is even slightly thrown a joke at.
- They wanna be her slave
- They want her. -- This is the last simp stage. At this point the people are dangerous. People like Alinity or Pokimane have such men (they gladly profit from them too)
A Coincidence?
40% of all Melons have cat profile pictures.
Kind of like veelas from Harry Potter, or Sirens from Greek Mythology, but this is very real.
Symptoms (Hah, simptoms):
- People suddenly act polite, offer to send money/buy things for her
- They want to marry her (using the MarriageBot in Discord)
- They want to write about her 'bodily functions' :/ -- These are literal symptoms, not exaggerations
- They want to change their profile to match hers
- They want to charm her and show her that they have good jokes
- They defend her whenever she is even slightly thrown a joke at.
- They wanna be her slave
- They want her. -- This is the last simp stage. At this point the people are dangerous. People like Alinity or Pokimane have such men (they gladly profit from them too)
A Coincidence?
40% of all Melons have cat profile pictures.
A Random Melon: Hi
Felix: Heyyy, how's it going?
Melon: Great, how about you?
Belarus: Omg i wanna write about your period, yes.
Melon: what the fuck, no i don't want yo--
Felix: omg yesssssssssssss
Nikolai: I wanna be you, send pfp link
Kass: Check out my Hoxha bunkers 😏
Melon: Guys stop pls this is weird
Skrab: Yeah guys! She doesn't like it! She only likes it from me
Melon: DUDE. I DON-
Matias: I wanna be your slave
All aforementioned people: I'll buy you nitro if you marry me
Melon's Husband: Wtf? Immoral, how dare you all? Where are your ethics?
Melon: I wanna die. I hate Melon Simpitis.
Spoop: I made a fanfic of you.
Felix: Heyyy, how's it going?
Melon: Great, how about you?
Belarus: Omg i wanna write about your period, yes.
Melon: what the fuck, no i don't want yo--
Felix: omg yesssssssssssss
Nikolai: I wanna be you, send pfp link
Kass: Check out my Hoxha bunkers 😏
Melon: Guys stop pls this is weird
Skrab: Yeah guys! She doesn't like it! She only likes it from me
Melon: DUDE. I DON-
Matias: I wanna be your slave
All aforementioned people: I'll buy you nitro if you marry me
Melon's Husband: Wtf? Immoral, how dare you all? Where are your ethics?
Melon: I wanna die. I hate Melon Simpitis.
Spoop: I made a fanfic of you.
by Paki, Gen. of Pakistan November 7, 2020
Get the Melon Simpitis mug.A simple caring and loving girl. She is an important person in your friendship cycle. You can call her Simi or Simibi or any other proper nickname.
She cherishes friends and tends to be closely attached with a Grace or an Emmanuella.
She is amazing, loving, awesome and highly needed.
She is a replica of her tribe and can be troublesome or naughty few times but is really intelligent and loved by teachers or authorities
She tends to be in the artistic department and may end up a lawyer, actress, singer, or novelist
She may be aggressive sometimes but it ends quickly.
She is also very funny and jovial
She cherishes friends and tends to be closely attached with a Grace or an Emmanuella.
She is amazing, loving, awesome and highly needed.
She is a replica of her tribe and can be troublesome or naughty few times but is really intelligent and loved by teachers or authorities
She tends to be in the artistic department and may end up a lawyer, actress, singer, or novelist
She may be aggressive sometimes but it ends quickly.
She is also very funny and jovial
by Simbi d comedian December 29, 2018
Get the simisola mug.A mental illness that only affects Males
widely reported symptoms are as follows
1) Repetitious mumblings comprising of "Yes Dear" "No Dear" "Sorry Dear"
2) Allows himself to be trod upon repeatedly by females & apologizes pathetically for it
3) Grovelling to a female in the vain hope of receiving her validation to make them feel more like a "real man"
4) Giving attention/praise to undeserving females, the females are well aware of this and will use him to their advantage
5) Putting himself into a subservient/submissive position under a female in the hope of winning them over without the female bringing anything to the table
6) rolling out red carpets for every female encounter for no apparent reason
7) fighting with other Male sufferers either physically or verbally for sole female attention
8) Irrational thoughts
EG. thinks a female with 2 or more bastard children is a high quality female
9) Delusions
EG. In his eyes all females are good no matter what they do or say, he may feel beholden to a female due his delusions
10) Believes that a "Real Man" should shower female's with gifts & pay all her bills & entertainment costs,
most sufferers may do this for sex & validation from the female, whereas non-sufferers can clearly identify this as prostitution. More serious cases of simping sufferers may do this for female validation alone.
Known Cure
"The Red Pill" although some sufferers of simping reported that this can completely disappear with age & experience.
widely reported symptoms are as follows
1) Repetitious mumblings comprising of "Yes Dear" "No Dear" "Sorry Dear"
2) Allows himself to be trod upon repeatedly by females & apologizes pathetically for it
3) Grovelling to a female in the vain hope of receiving her validation to make them feel more like a "real man"
4) Giving attention/praise to undeserving females, the females are well aware of this and will use him to their advantage
5) Putting himself into a subservient/submissive position under a female in the hope of winning them over without the female bringing anything to the table
6) rolling out red carpets for every female encounter for no apparent reason
7) fighting with other Male sufferers either physically or verbally for sole female attention
8) Irrational thoughts
EG. thinks a female with 2 or more bastard children is a high quality female
9) Delusions
EG. In his eyes all females are good no matter what they do or say, he may feel beholden to a female due his delusions
10) Believes that a "Real Man" should shower female's with gifts & pay all her bills & entertainment costs,
most sufferers may do this for sex & validation from the female, whereas non-sufferers can clearly identify this as prostitution. More serious cases of simping sufferers may do this for female validation alone.
Known Cure
"The Red Pill" although some sufferers of simping reported that this can completely disappear with age & experience.
by Sirius-C April 25, 2019
Get the Simping mug.by Chikychick May 19, 2019
Get the pimpin not simpin mug.The act of placing women on a pedestal in hopes of getting sex in return from them one day.
Similar to simp only now it's an action.
Similar to simp only now it's an action.
by Cslug February 26, 2020
Get the Simping mug.by Stingoneyy February 22, 2018
Get the simpilize mug.