My lard

My lard is used for a very close friend

How are you today my lard

by Katrinakellogsxoxox March 9, 2020

Lard Tard

A fat, dumb chick who somehow gets herself into bad situations with guys she thought she could trust

I wanted to go up to her, but when I came up close, she was a total Lard Tard

by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it August 2, 2019

lard stump

A huge fat ass turd.

I’ll call you back, I have to go take a lard stump.

by Rylerballz September 14, 2019

Lard Carp

Someone overweight that's swimming

What a beautiful majestic lard carp you have there

by LuckyDC September 14, 2021

Lard-string

A string of lard; lazy; unmotivated; lifeless; careless; can be used in the same context as a couch potato.

"I just lay there like a lard-string."

by Shortcakems March 16, 2009

lard up

What fat Americans do in the nearest fast food restaurant.

- Hey Jenny, lets go lard up at KFC!

by Enclave Razorback June 1, 2016

Spunk-lard

Pre-coital lubricant of the anus made from the fatty deposits found in sperm. Method:
1) Collect ejaculated sperm whilst still warm
2) Bring to boil
3) Simmer whilst fatty deposits rise to top
4) Drain away liquid
5) Leave fatty residue to cool and congeal
6) Once congealed, sculpt into required shape (usually a cock-shape)
7) Apply to arsehole

Spunk-lard me up before butt-fucking me big boy!

by Lunatic Fringe September 4, 2008