hemogoblin

The component in your blood that determines how creepy you'll seem to young children.

As part of the screening process for counselor positions at a youth-camp, each applicant is required to have a blood-test to determine his hemogoblin levels.

by QuacksO March 12, 2017

hemorrhoid

hem-roydz

a varicose condition of the external or internal rectal veins causing painful swellings at the anus. Syn: piles.

Origin
G. haimorrhois, pl. haimorrhoides, veins likely to bleed, fr. haima, blood, + rhoia, a flow

"a pain in the ass"---OR my ex-wife

I need to go buy some more Preparation-H, my hemorrhoid wants more alamony

by buck_futter_jr June 19, 2003

little lord fauntleroy school for albino hemophiliacs

Fucking priceless.

I mean, that says it all.

by BleezeMonkey September 17, 2003

hemoglobin

The God of everything! He is powerful. Hemoglobin comes down from the top of his trash can in the sky every century, and assumes the form of anything he wants. Recently he came to us in the form of a pigeon. He has touched many in many different ways, often giving powers. Superman, Spiderman, Hulk, The Fantasic Four, Flash, SUPER ALEX and SUPER DINA, and The Green Lantern are a few. Their stories were made up to cover Hemo's tracks. However, there is some truth to them. The spider that bit Spiderman, also Hulk and Superman but wasn't shown, was Hemoglobins involvments. Hemoglobin founded every country ever, except France because French suck. He built every bomb, every gun, made Adam and Eve, built the universe, and before he left us again, he put a part of him in the Mystical Cat Food Bin. So that is the location of where we worship him daily.

Alex~ Do you know the magical powers of Hemoglobin?
James~ Yes, I was there that day, we met him remember?
HEMOGLOBIN!~ YOU HAVE A PLACE NEXT TO MY MYSTICAL TRASH CAN!

Alex~ Matt, do you know Hemoglobin?
Matt~ Hemoglobin sucks you fucking retard!
(Hemoglobin destroys matt with a sniper rifle powerful enough only for Hemoglobin.)

by Hemoglobin Messiah January 11, 2008

hemophilia

the instance when someone was born with an uncut penis because if circusision has acured the person would have died.

Richard: I have hemophilia
Casey: I have a pet gold fish, tell me about it
Richard: it means my body does not heal itself like yours does without aid

by lhrocks February 2, 2015

hemorrhoid

a synonym for anus boils

That guys has a serious case of hemorrhoids! I'm talking those anus boils were falling out of his ass all over the place!

by Krazy K December 21, 2002

hemorrhoid tourniquet

Hemorrhoid tourniquet: trying on thong underwear and getting your hemorrhoids caught in the floss when you pull them off.

During some man-talk over beers, one of the guys explained how he tried on his girlfriend's thong during a hemorrhoid flare-up and it got really squeezed as he took them off. His beer buddy didn't miss a beat as he explained "No Pain, No Gain" and confirmed that hemorrhoid tourniquets like that were coming into vogue at old man frat parties.

by benighse November 22, 2009