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nike defense

A defense used on occasion in a court of law. Based on the assumption that if someone is wearing Nikes, they run at abnormally fast speeds, thus allowing them to indeed appear to be in two places at once.
State Attorney: You expect us to believe this alabi of being home at that hour when our records show you had just arrived in Dallas?

Defense Attorney: Nike defense! Nike defense! My client was wearing Nikes Your Honor.
by Super Gerbil July 15, 2004
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The dawkins defense

The defense mechanism that atheist use when people either refuse to listen to, or question their smug self superior ways by saying the person questioning them is delusional or close minded usually quoting the 16 year old girl minded richard dawkins.
When martin decided he didnt want to hear marsha crap out of her mouth about religion, marsha pulled the dawkins defense and dismissed him as delusional.
by RaindancerF November 7, 2011
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Massachusetts Self-Defense

Locking yourself in the bathroom and asking an intruder to please take what he wants and then leave your house.

Because people in Massachusetts are not allowed to defend their life, liberty, or property. This is based on the liberal notions that if we reason politely with criminals they will surely not harm us, and that defending ourselves lowers us to the level of the criminal. (Since liberals do not believe in levels of humanity, this is difficult to comprehend.)
Oh, goodness gracious, a Pachuco is breaking into our home! Everyone get into the bathroom! We're going to practice Massachusetts self-defense!
by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005
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Monica defense

To avoid admitting a wrong by hair-splitting or obfuscation. Derived from Bill Clinton's redefintion of "having sex" to exclude oral copulation with Monica Lewinsky.
"My gf caught me with my pants down, so my Monica defense just wasn't a happening thing."
by Max Debord April 21, 2007
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Offense-Defense

The progressive stages of advancement and rejection in the make out process (Go for Boobs = Offense, Get pushed away = Defense)
Kelby: Did you score?

Pete: No, I just played offense-defense all night....
by douknowchriso August 26, 2008
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homo defense

Extremely tight suffocating defense. Not allowing one to successfuly to get an advantage.
by GODLE August 14, 2011
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Ingestion defense

A reason given for a failed drug screen
When called into the manager’s office and informed of his failure to pass

a random drug screen, the Staten Island ferry worker replied in a panic stricken voice
“It’s not my test, it’s not my test.”

What do you mean it's not your test? I’m sorry but the procedures and protocols are standard and the custody chain is valid. You failed for cocaine use,” replied the manager.

“No, no I don’t use cocaine, I was blowing Ricardo the ship yard worker and I ingested it. He does cocaine, I don’t” cried the deckhand.

“Oh, so you are claiming the ingestion defense?” asked the manager.
by PEARKAY April 24, 2014
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