A spare dick in a fucking contest

To describe a someone who gives little or no contribution to a task.

"Jenny didn't help at all, she just stood around like a spare dick in a fucking contest"

by hteb78 April 29, 2013

wet t-shirt contest

a contest in which a few selective hot ladies with very large tits

"hey man i heard bobb's hostin a wet t-shirt contest! he's inviting all of the hoes and babes from the hood!"

by bobb February 6, 2003

Dick measuring contest

Something you try to win if you're the kind of guy that thinks a female would rather have sex with you than cut your dick off. Whether you have 2 or 4 inches of hard dick, or 8 to 10 inches of flaccid dick, if it's laying out in a cornfield in the moonlight, what's the difference? The blood is black either way, and it's no longer attached to the rest of you.

If you ask females, having sex with a female, having sex with nobody, and cutting a guy's dick off would be before having sex with a guy on a list of things to do that day. Perhaps Lorena Bobbitt flipped a coin, heads he keeps his dick, tails his dick goes in the cornfield, and she didn't tell him which way the coin flip went until he woke up the next morning. That would be a way to suprise a guy that put more importance in coming first in the dick measuring contest than anything else in life.

by The Original Agahnim June 30, 2021

pie-eating contest

performing oral sex on a menstruating female.

Looks like Johnny's been having a pie-eating contest.

by sammy dan August 22, 2006

Unexpected Wet T-Shirt Contest

You can enter yourself in a wet t-shirt contest by standing too close to the curb on a rainy day. And a car drives by and gets your t-shirt wet.

Jane has nice nips after she was standing to close to the curb and a car drove by and gave her the unexpected wet t-shirt contest

by Giggidy1973 August 23, 2011

A one legged man in an arse kicking contest.

To describe a useless object or person.

About as useful as a one legged man in an arse kicking contest...

by hteb78 November 27, 2012

one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Attempting to accomplish a goal (kick ass) with some possible success only to wind up falling on your own ass. Having to try harder than the average person to reach the same success. A repeated accomplishment followed up by repeated embarrassing failures.

Melvin was a good looking guy but his halitosis made the women gag, he was about as successful with dating as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

by EmmasTatDad July 24, 2014