collect-a-cert

A derogatory label for a person who prizes industry certifications above knowledge and capability.

Often such a person will set about collecting as many certifications as they can and proudly display them in their email signature and social network profiles. Typically they have a shallow understanding of areas in which they are certified, and are unable to display significant independent reasoning or understanding in those areas.

May also refer to the act of obtaining an industry certification.

Also known as "pokemon accreditation"; Gotta catch 'em all!

1. "I've interviewed five job applicants and every one of them is a collect-a-cert."

2. "I'm going to have to go 'collect-a-cert' to qualify for the next pay bracket"

by qwak May 9, 2013

Swaggily self-centered

People like Daniel Bisimwa and his brothers who think they have so much swag when they have none.

Mike: Yo bro, your shirt has less swag than mine.
Johnny: Dafuq is wrong with you, are you swaggily self-centered or something.

by MenOfPresence May 16, 2013

got with a certain tommy gun

did something interesting recently

I hear you got with a certain tommy gun

by theladette November 3, 2013

evil vin cecil

These people are not pussy magnets, and are also extreme haters. Evil Vin Cecil's tend to be very submissive and they're likely to answer "fucking sure!" to most any question that comes their way. Lastly Evil Vin Cecil's have a very strong love of bacon, and are typically found driving prius's.

When did you become an Evil Vin Cecil?

by Trucks&Bug December 7, 2013

useless as a call-centre operative

Usually someone utterly, totally useless, but can be applied to inanimate objects. Lacking any empowerment, thus going so far as to be inactively obstructive.
Etymology: in the UK a number of large companies operate call-centres. When one attempts to call these to complain, the usual response from the responder (the call-centre operative) is feigned interest in the issue, involving lengthy explanations, then the final response is that they cannot authorise the issue in question as due to lack of authority. The issues can be of any magnitude. When asked to be passed to a manager, they claim the manager is unavailable and will call back (this is the inactive-obstructive part). This never occurs, so one calls again. The situation recurses.
c.f. "chocolate teapot"

I attempted to wipe my arse with some own-brand toilet paper, after wiping the paper looked clean but the disgusting skiddies in my kecks later showed it was as useless as a call-centre operative.

by monsieur_tm December 30, 2013

give his two cents

same as My two cents, a inconsequential opinion often to show humility, but can also be used as an irony

If my friend is allowed to give his two cents in, your expert analysis hides the reality.

by taxtop February 6, 2014

One Man Human Centipede

A trick that surgeons use on patients who are being disrepectful to them or their staff. The procedure involves attaching penis to anus.

"This guy flashed one of the nurses. So I gave him the old One Man Human Centipede. Was fucking hilarious!"

by twindle April 11, 2015