Advanced Awkward Turtle 

Advanced Awkward Turtle

Advanced Awkward Turtle is the next stage in evolutionary awkwardness.
To perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle there are three preliminary conditions you must be sure are in place.
Make sure to find an introverted, lonely looking person. Preferably one that is sitting alone. Also, make sure that he/she has a free hand that is placed on a flat surface, with the palm facing down. Lastly, make sure that the hand is within reach. With these conditions, you are ready to perform the Advanced Awkward Turtle.

First, place your opposing hand directly on top of his/her free hand with your palm facing down and your fingers pointing the same direction. Next, make eye contact as you start to rotate your thumbs counter-clockwise(as in standard awkward turtle). Wait until awkwardness ensues. If awkwardness does not become apparent, follow the next steps.

Decrease the distance between your face and theirs, while increasing the rotational speed of your thumbs.

Advanced Awkward Turtle would be used in these situations.

Billy, the boy who never talks, is sitting alone. Until you walk over and get intimately awkward with him.

A bully is picking on you, so you bust out the Awkward Turtle. A gentle wink thrown in will make sure he will never go near you again.

Works very well in breaking the ice, or annihilate it completely.

Advanced Awkward Turtle by Bubba Franks Man March 12, 2009

Ninja Turtle Style 

to have super ninja reflexes like that of a Ninja Turtle. This include the ability to quickly remove bells off of a coat in the dark without making a sound.

You just totally smashed that bug Ninja Turtle Style

Ninja Turtle Style by catabrite August 25, 2010

Tampon Turtle

When your tampon pokes out like a turtle head.

"Yesterday I sneezed during a meeting and for the rest of the afternoon my tampon turtle drove me crazy!"

Tampon Turtle by mcknazzy December 31, 2011

period turtle 

Someone you don't like at all, for no apparent reason.

Look at that random person across the street. Gosh, I hate him. He's such a period turtle.

period turtle by Sir Walter Postofficeism February 24, 2014

cold turtle 

Personal interaction that causes male genitalia to retreat as in jumping into an ice-cold pool.

When she told me she only liked donkey-dick, I quickly went cold turtle!

cold turtle by Bald Ginger May 12, 2014

breaching turtle 

noun; Known regionally as "mustachious dollarous amphibious," the breaching turtle is a somewhat timid creature that can be commonly found relaxing stage-side at area strip clubs. It is not uncommon to see anywhere between 2-5 breaching turtles occupying the same dimly lit corner. The breaching turtle spends most of its time with its head safely concealed within its t-shirt-like shell (*note: breaching turtles have the ability to remain submerged for up to as many as 3 Def Leppard songs). A breaching turtle will remain concealed until its insatiable appetite for titty resin causes it to burst forth, craning its long neck in the direction of its prey. The breaching turtle utilizes a dollar bill held firmly between its nose and mouth to lure in the stripper it desires. Upon having titties rub in its face, the breaching turtle may linger for several more sets of titties before quietly retreating back into its shell. On rare occasion, breaching turtles may emerge to particularly large, old, or ugly strippers upon which the breaching turtle will hastily recede back into the safety of its 100% cotton shell (see "frightened turtle")

"Did you see Chris last night?"

"Yeah man! He waited through like two whole dances before totally going breaching turtle on that one with the phat azz and big ole tit-tays!"

breaching turtle by mustachious dollarous June 26, 2014

Cheese Turtle 

An uncircumcised micropenis with yellow smegma

"Hey how's your cheese turtle problem doing?"
"I thought I told you not to talk about it in public!"
"Not my fault you weren't circumcised and don't know how to wash your tiny dick. That yellow smegma is gross"

Cheese Turtle by SouLLesS April 26, 2015