Captain Shartacus

A man who can't help but shit himself

Hey man are u captain Shartacus??
Yeah bro, didn't you know!

by ULTIMATE October 25, 2016

captain guyliner

an awesome guy that gets a 10/10 on time management in art. also has eyeliner for men. guyliner. and is a captain of all things dirty. captain. captain guyliner.

"Yo did you see that guy walk past?"

"Yeah that was Captain Guyliner."

by Band Dork 2k19 November 15, 2016

captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

Captain Hook

When someone's dick is too small to grab with the whole hand when masturbating, they use one finger, looking like a pirate hook.

A:"Why's Tilly so mad?"
B:"Mike caught him Captain Hooking, now we all know he's got a lil cock"

by Cool cunt January 2, 2017

captain sandals

A bartender who wears sandals and jeans, is obsessed with turning the televisions ever so slightly, and can not let you drink a beer without a coaster. He also sits with hot girls after his shifts and asks them if they want a drink, goes behind the bar to get them, and then he puts it on their tab. Big Dave Matthews fan.

Oh no, there's a coaster under my pitcher if beer, is captain sandals working?

by bangedyourmom69 January 18, 2017

Captain Morgan

When you pour a whole bottle of rum in a girls vagina and the pick her up and let it pour out like a fountain on you

Guys did you hear that Ryan pulled a captain Morgan last night on his girl?

by Ravenclaw21 March 24, 2017

captain feed a ho

Those guys who bring food to a woman, who he isnt dating, at work. Hoping that it will get him sex in return.

Every stripper in the club has had food brought to them today. Apparently its Captain Feed a Ho day

by Ninja Nerd Warrior March 25, 2017