A comedian with the most off beat, hilarious sense of humour ever heard to man. Created a cult-like following of loyal subjects that wish they were half as funny as his dog. Tragically, Mitch departed this world in late March 2005, leaving us only with fond memories and this lesson learned:
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
"I was sitting at a bar, and no one was talking to me cuz I had just did a show *Crowd laughs*, and this guy bumped into me, and he didn't apologize, he just said, 'Move!' which I thought was rude, so I said, 'Go to hell,' and then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a moustache, a goatee, earrings, a pair of sunglasses, his hair was in a pony tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, 'Hey! You got a lot of nerve!' I said, 'Hey, you've got a lot of............cranium accesories!" *Everyone laughs. Mitch laughs* Ha, this a smart crowd. When I play the dumb crowds I have to say, 'You've got a lot of shit on your head!'"
by Peasento May 5, 2005
Get the Mitch Hedberg mug.A sexy beast that will probably steal your woman. Mitchell has a huge dick. He’s the hottest bloke on earth. He is the king of sex and leaves all the girls that visit them with a sore ass. He claps their cheeks so hard they can’t sit down
by 69joe mama December 16, 2019
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by xxxx56xxxx February 10, 2018
Get the match energy mug.Bald, potato-like character in the popular soap Eastenders. Not to be confused with any members of Right Said Fred. Punches someone at least once in every episode, avoids jail purely because he is better than Ian Beale at everything.
Has a brother called Grant who looks mildly like a homosexual potato.
Has a brother called Grant who looks mildly like a homosexual potato.
by dubya_is_wracked_lol August 5, 2006
Get the phil mitchell mug.by Illwombat May 20, 2007
Get the match game mug.The blue whale's anus can open 3.5 feet, making it the second largest asshole in the world next to Mitch McConnell.
I was so constipated from eating that cheeseball last night that my asshole stretched out to the size of Mitch McConnell when I took a shit this morning.
by Dr. Derpal J. Trump September 24, 2020
Get the Mitch McConnell mug.To come with the same amount of weed as as the other or put equal amount of money in so you can smoke different weed
by KingInnaEarth February 2, 2021
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