Fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench

Its just an exclamtion..either of surprise, horror, disgust, dismay...

Person 1: still another forty minutes of this boring lesson

Person 2: Aaah..fuck me sideways with a monkey wrench!

by The Wild Child January 4, 2008

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

a sarcastic term implying "what a load of crap"
or, "bullshit". can also be used as a expression of anger.

: hilary, i did NOT have sex with that woman...
: um... fuck me gently with a chainsaw, bill.

or...

: how was that test?
: fuck me gently with a chainsaw, mike.

by Qwerty April 19, 2004

fuck me sideways with a spoon

An exclamation used when things are completely screwed, or to express surprise at something.

Staff member: Dude, the fryers are on fire.
Manager: Oh fuck me sideways with a spoon!!

Boy: I have herpes.
Girl: Oh fuck me sideways with a spoon!!
Boy: I'll have to from now on ...

by Scutha January 18, 2008

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

basically, "i don't give a fuck"

"it's just heather, why can't we talk to different kinds of people?"

"fuck me gently with a chainsaw, do i look like mother teresa? if i did, i probably wouldn't mind talking to the geek squad"

by heathersssssss April 19, 2010

fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom

An insult that can be used as an alternative to "fuck me" or "fuck me sideways" and can avoid actions that look like fucking someone sideways. Also an insult that can be used against others because they are simply an ass or they are stupid, and as such, deserve really painful sex.

-Why the hell did you yell your ex's name when you had sex with your girl?
-Fuck me sideways with a sandpaper condom.

-Dude, where the hell are you?
-I'm stuck behind this old fart.
-Go fuck him sideways with a sandpaper condom, it's your damn fault you woke up late.

by gofuckaduck90 June 15, 2011

fuck me gently with a chainsaw

a phrase for "i hate my life" or simaraly, "fuck my life" popularized by the eighties cult classic movie "Heathers" starting Winona Ryder.

"you want me to go talk to those losers? fuck me gently with a chainsaw."

by kdrrrgs August 18, 2008

fuck me gently with a 2 x 4

a verbal proclaimation proclaiming surprise or amazement

Charlie, you know that adopted sister of yours that moved to New York, burnadette, wasn't it? well, while she was away she had a sex change and now she is Burnie. Charlie, eyes wide open proclaims " well fuck me gently with a 2 x 4"

by l moyse January 5, 2008