eppileptic wank

When you cause someone who is epileptic to have a seizure while they are holding their penis, causing them to have a seizure and tuss off at the same time

Riley ended up having an eppileptic wank when Harvey shone a torch into his eyes.

by Seabridge Memester June 6, 2016

spanky wank

When a man spanks himself as he masturbates

Did you hear about jim trying the spanky wank? He said he couldn't sit for a week.

by dievfksi October 10, 2016

muppet wank

During coitus, one partner (or a third person) inserts their full hand into the anus of the woman and grasps the man's penis through the walls of the rectum and vagina. They then proceed to masturbate the penis while simultaneously fisting the woman rectally.

Dude, I got muppet wanked by my girlfriends BFF during a threesome last night.

by Inoffensive_Account August 20, 2016

couple wanking

When you and your partner are horny but too tired to have a fuck

Couple wanking is when too people want yo ficl but are too tired. So they both have a wank

by eldude bro February 1, 2017

micro wank

When you wanna climax but you don't have time to do the whole 45 minute shit. Feels fucking amazing, not recommended for the asthmatic community, and usually leaves you with a blister.

Pornhub: Ah neigh whinnymwinny, tu whit to woo, oink~twas brillig, coo coo, get on the washing machine, awhahahhahhhahhahhhhhh
Me: Fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squirt heavy breathing.

That was a good little micro wank

by cancerisnotaverygoodthing February 1, 2017

camel wank

Also known as titty wank or tittywank. The sexual act of a female (or perhaps anyone with sizable breasts) using breasts to stimulate a penis, possibly to the point of orgasm. Derivation unknown, but may be a metaphor for a man sitting between the two large humps of a camel.

After she sucked on his penis on her knees, she wrapped her generous breasts around his penis and camel wanked him until he came on her face.

by Pm4whipping February 7, 2017

Wank Murder

Suicide, taking one’s own life, onanicide

“Did John kill himself?”

“Yes he committed, Wank Murder”

by Kyle Pseudo October 16, 2019