DOCTOR: Sir, your physical exam is fine, but your COVID test is positive, meaning you are an asymptomatic COVID carrier. Do you wear a mask?
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
ME: Asswhaaahh, bruh? Naw, I feel good! How a mask gonna help? My ass ain’t infected!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend wearing it there. You strike me as a pleasant, but obnoxiously stubborn man. As an ASS-CO (Asymptomatic COVID) carrier, you’ll need to quarantine yourself for two weeks and wear a mask more consistently, to prevent the airborne spread of COVID. Also take these pills.
ME: Quarra-what? Ass Mask whaaa? Masks kill people! Nobody wore a mask and lived, EVER! Masks are just a fuckin conspiracy from the MMI (mask manufacturing illuminati). …wut Pills?
DOCTOR: Magic Brain Pills (MBPs) that will temporarily make you smart enough to wear the ASS-CO mask over your mouth AND nose. As we cheerfully say in healthcare, “Don’t be a dumb cunt who can’t wear a mask correctly!”
by Magic Brain Pills September 6, 2020
Get the ASS-CO (asymptomatic covid)mug. COVID selection involves culling off the athletes, no broadcast sports from here on in. Culling of active protesters, then having people call or email there discussed, whomever will be then exicuted (culled). Rough speculation indicates just below 50% support of the COVID selection.
by Bryn Benn May 11, 2020
Get the COVID selectionmug. it is a very bad life in which covid-19 affects your whole damn life it does not care about summer or even value of someone it is just the way covid-19life is ☹️
by internetbrowserandanimalfreak December 14, 2020
Get the covid-19lifemug. An actual person
Who has been literally tortured for over
20 years.
Who has lost friends and family.
To whom he does not know.
Now he has lost his home and sanity.
Anyone could be his savior, but they choose the GAME instead.
Who has been literally tortured for over
20 years.
Who has lost friends and family.
To whom he does not know.
Now he has lost his home and sanity.
Anyone could be his savior, but they choose the GAME instead.
by 1812Diamond#1 July 15, 2022
Get the Covidmug. Some bitch ass virus that caused a quarantine in 2020, you can still get it. The first day, you test positive is most likely the day you’re sent home from the nurse, the second day, you feel like you’re a zombie, the third day is probably the worst day. You can’t stomach anything with the exception of liquids. It gets better afterwards.
Kid #1: wya, dude? You’re gonna be late
Kid #2: I tested positive for COVID, fam. I’m not going to school today.
Kid #2: I tested positive for COVID, fam. I’m not going to school today.
by TiredClarinetist September 8, 2024
Get the COVIDmug. by Dr. Cocksmaul September 7, 2025
Get the Covid Weebmug. Covidism \ koh-vid-is-em \ noun: a mundane action or activity that causes pleasure during the Covid-19 pandemic
by shielanator December 4, 2020
Get the covidismmug.