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Jesus Christ

Main character in the best selling fiction book of all time. Don't bother reading it though, he dies in the end.
I'm so bummed that Jesus Christ got killed off in the end of the Bible! But hey, they could totally make a killer zombie movie from his resurrection.
by skifreemt February 25, 2010
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V-Jesus

V-Jesus is when a car powered by a Honda Engine with VTEC hits 6,000rpm's and then continues to exceed passed the magical stock redline embracing hitting 9,000rpm's releasing Jesus from your engine. Once released, Jesus cast a light of enlightenment showing you have hit V-Jesus and that it is now time to shift.
Did you see that flare, John hit V-Jesus!
by batmang January 24, 2005
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Jesus freak

someone evincing 2 or more of the following symptoms:
1: proclaims the lord is coming with the imminent end of the world
2: has signs on their person, car, or home with bible quotes
3: goes to church more than once a week
4: started their own christian offshoot cult because the rest aren;t pious enough
5: tries to foist an extreme form of christianity off on others
6: is a born-again christian and/or fundamentalist
every time i see that jesus freak walking around with his "god will save, the end is near" sign, i want to convert to satanism just so i can sacrifice him.
by minghi May 21, 2003
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Jesus Phone

The iphone by apple. A phone that makes you feel like Jesus. In fact Jesus probably has one himself.
Rick: HOLY SHIT I GOT A JESUS PHONE!!!
by Burkus December 19, 2008
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jesus juice

Yeah very funny. It's a terrible wine. They just call it that to make it sound glamorous or something. And the food stinks. Usually, this junk, you know? Even if you like to eat, you couldn’t eat it.
Yeah but sometimes, you see, it’s not that easy, you know what I mean? It's not all the cupcakes and Jesus juice like you might assume.
by The Zug October 3, 2007
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Jesus Chatline

A religious chat line run by two pastors, Richard Burnish and Steven Chilton. It is commonly trolled by channel 4 users and people who have nothing else to do, like the reader who looked this definition up.
Bob: Hey, whats that religious streaming service called?

Mike: Oh, Jesus Chatline!
by Dank Tellituby May 13, 2017
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black jesus

Something that white people hate and can not admit since the real Jesus was black.
White Person: Jesus was black? NO WAY! TIME FOR SUICIDE!
by bebo January 10, 2005
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