Jesus Fuck

When you lay her down on a crucifix, and nail her three times. On the third day, you'll be able to get a rise again.
Bob: "I heard Sara got Jesus Fucked last summer".

Tony: "Is that where you put her on a crucifix and nail her three times?"

Bob: "Yeah dude."

Tony: "Holy, holy, holy lord. God of power and might."
by The mysterious Mr.R March 30, 2011
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jesus christ

some dude commonly believed by the same kind of morons
jesus christ? actually doesn't exist!
by chun hyang February 06, 2008
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Jesus Christ

1. A word used to express anger. Avoid saying this in front of Jesus Freaks, it will upset them.

2. Some guy stated in the Bible. He supposedly died on a cross and died for our sins. Now he's gonna save us all or something like that. Of course we all know this is absolutely retarded, after all, the only reference is a really big book.
1. Jesus Christ, why the hell is my wife doing another man in my bed??

2. All the Bible is, is a big book, ok?? Who wrote the book? God? Ok. Yeah. God wrote the Bible and then came down to earth and gave it to some guy so he could show it to everyone. YEAH RIGHT. You know what really happened? Some guy wrote all this bull so that he could make some money.

And how come even in the Bible, men have all the power? I though "Jesus" believed in equality for everyone!! Wtf?

Tell you what, when Jesus "Saves" you, I want you to come down here with him and show me. THEN I'll believe it. Thank you.
by XxXI.AM.NOT.AN.AETHEISTXxX April 04, 2009
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Jesus

Jesus
Jesus Christ is Jesus
by 10,11 buff cat June 07, 2022
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Jesus

the Son of God and the Second Person of the Holy Trinity. Christians believe that through his crucifixion and subsequent resurrection, God offered humans salvation and eternal life.
Jesus is the Savior of the world> John 3:16
by Ashiepatasharoni October 29, 2019
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Jesus

The head of Christianity. He is also somebody a lot of people fucking need.
"Hey bro Hillary Clinton needs dome Jesus in her life"
by rwrwgwgregtrw December 06, 2020
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Jesus

Tim: Jesus died for my sins, I love that guy.
Karl: Yeah, me too, thanks Jesus.
by Jiggywithit455 June 13, 2022
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