Midwest Gauntlet

Married, kids and divorced before 30yrs old... because people in the Midwest like “family values” and not wearing condoms...

if you avoided all three you might be a unicorn!

“So did that girl you went out with last week make it thru the “Midwest Gauntlet” or was she a statistic?

by Dynadaddy November 8, 2018

Midwest mosh pit

When a group of highly agitated Midwestern concert goers continually bump into each other all while saying, “Ope sorry.”

Things got pretty out of hand at the Moose Lodge on Friday night when the band started playing a polka version of “Whiskey in the jar.” I almost lost my manners in that Midwest mosh pit.

by DickFingerDave September 3, 2020

Midwest Slimfast

Word for the drug methamphetamine

Phil: "Ben's been up for 4 days what's wrong with him?"
John: "He's on that midwest slimfast."

by captain_ice October 20, 2020

Midwest Iraqi

When you have horrible gas, so you get in your vehicle and crank the heat on high, fart and procees to rub one out in the stink to remind you of the times you mastubated in a porta potty in 115 degree heat in Iraq.

I was bored at work today and went and pulled a Midwest Iraqi during lunch break.

by SSGBB December 15, 2020

Midwest Lollipop

An alternative to I-70 or I-80 road head. The name for the act of getting suddenly blindfolded and tied up by your girlfriend in a two-star midwestern hotel off the highway; so she can whack you with a potholder, then fellate and ride your lollipop, while you lie there unable to thwart her fast food and White Claw-fueled demands.

“It was a long drive back to Colorado, but I gave him the Midwest Lollipop to break up the monotony.”

“Driving through the Midwest is tediously boring, but the GF gave me the Midwest Lollipop when we overnighted in Omaha.”

“Welcome to Iowa. Home of the Midwest Lollipop.”

by MammaCitaMeowMeow March 18, 2022

milwee middle school

if idiots could fly, this place would be King Fahd International Airport

Dont go to milwee middle school

by dbs3272globeabb February 24, 2023

Midwestern masochist

A blue collar voter from the American Midwest who consistently votes against their own interests in successive elections.

Those Midwestern masochists have been voting reliably for Democrats for decades.

by deplorable#45 March 8, 2023