dickscuse

An obviously false excuse for one's penis either with regard to (size, performance, appearance, etc.)

Jenn: "Wow, now that's a small dick!"
Eric: "No, it's just cold, haven't you heard of shrinkage?"
Jenn: "It's the middle of summer and the air conditioner is broken, so..."
Eric: "I think the lighting must be making it look smaller..."
Jenn: "All I hear is dickscuse after dickscuse, little ass babydick having motherfucker! You should just own your tiny dingaling and move on."
Eric: "OK, fine, I have a small dick. Happy?"

by StonerWithATinyBoner November 16, 2014

Dicks out for Borris

Pulling your cock out in sign of respect to our good whale Borris

oi boys 'Dicks out for Borris'

by datcok September 14, 2016

dicks and sticks

used to refer to something that's not really worth much and therefore not worth discussing

Dude you guys are arguing over 5 cents on Venmo, it's dicks and sticks, relax.

by RHeinz March 7, 2022

oatmeal dicks

why on gods green earth would you so even thing or possibly search this

why would you search oatmeal dicks

by gidZ5 October 24, 2019

Hammer Dicks

1. A game that is played by 2 or more legends by placing your hammer in your tool belt simulating a penis while throwing a roll of blue tape or other circular object in an effort to land it on your opponents hammer. Similar to ring toss, but way more intense by adding alcohol and "spicy" cigarettes of your choice and only choosing deserving and qualified opponents.

2. A group of highly skilled carpenters

1. Bro, check out those hammer dicks, those guys really know how to lay pipe.

2. Aww man, we can't finish the job because we are so basic, I wish a couple of hammer dicks were around to show us how to do it right!

3. Muzzle your bitch, hammer dicks are on there way!

by BellalovesWagner November 19, 2020

Tits before dicks

Phrase referred to girls hanging out with their friends before male friends/boyfriends.

Why didn't you hang out with me at the mall?? It's supposed to be tits before dicks!!!

by Titsbeforedicks February 8, 2014

bouquet of dicks

Reference to receiving bad news or a problem issue brought to you. Some one else's mistake becomes yours to fix.

My mechanic called with a "bouquet of dicks" telling me it's the transmission that's shot.

by brickeycrow November 6, 2017