Closet Malder

Someone who is angry, aka malding, while at same time homosexual, but keeps it on the down low, but everyone already knows they like men

tyler got exposed for being a closet malder

by Wooooozy March 17, 2021

closet hoe

a hoe that is believed to be very prude and innocent

Judy is a closet hoe she says she is a virgin but she actually lost it to a Mexican immigrant when she was 12

by Martin Kester March 12, 2008

Closet Atheist

A person who fakes belief in a deity for the purpose of social acceptance within a community.

Barack Obama is a classic example of a closet atheist.

by Marcelo and Maia January 20, 2009

closet homosexual

Ryan Seacrest.

Ryan simply won't admit he's a closet homosexual.

by Afsjdkdjslkfdjlgjfldk October 17, 2008

Closet case

A gay person who is unable to admit they're gay, usually for fear of being rejected by their peers.

It's not fun to be a closet case. You shouldn't make fun of someone who is a closet case. Gay teenagers are 3 times more likely to commit suicide than straight teenagers.

Who can blame them, really, when they grow up thinking something is unchangeably wrong with them?

Jake is 19 and still a closet case... sad

by nobody356789076e May 1, 2010

Closet Puker

A person you know that only pukes in the toilet while no one is watching at a party most likely due to the extremely fast consumption of alcohol, either by means of shotgunning or bonging. Usually, a closet puker will deny that it ever happened.

Did you guys see Jayson puke last night?

No.

Oh yeah i forgot he is a closet puker. He pukes when no one is looking.

by TheKingOfBoardPlay May 11, 2012

closet ninja

A person who looks and behaves like a completely normal person and is typically not physically imposing, that actually has profound skill in the martial arts without anyone knowing of it.

So I was walking home sort of late last night with Dan when four guys jumped us! While I was cowering on the ground I heard Dan make some Asian noises and a bunch of thuds in quick succession. Then there was silence for a few seconds followed by the sound four bodies hitting the ground. It turns out my brother Dan is a closet ninja.

by AmericanSwagSociety December 26, 2010