Soccer Mom

We must not fear the soccer mom for much longer, with gas prices going up they will go broke soon trying to fill up their stupid ass suv's at the gas station. As we speak these clumsy beasts are taking hairpin turns flipping over their top heavy cars and then bursting into flames. If the Soccer mom spawn have not completley self destructed themselves in the coming few months we must take action. Here are a few ways you can overcome and destory one if you come across one
-Stake through the heart
-silver bullets
-garlic
-removing or destroying the brain
-etc.

"walking down the street"

Me: Holy shit what is that

Soccer Mom: How dare you use that foul language in front of my kids!!!!!! *Claws expand*

Me: ahhhhhhh "Machete slice"

SM: GURGLE GURGLE

Soccer Mom by element547 June 17, 2009

Soccer Mom

A chick who wears Vans in a small size. So they are "Mini Vans"

Person 1: Damn yo I like her Vans. They are small though like size 5.
Person 2: Yeah bruh the Mini Vans. She's a Soccer Mom.

Soccer Mom by TUIT October 21, 2010

soccer mom

These women love their children and like to be "cool" with the kids. Usually they try and protect their kids from anything that may be evil.

Soccer moms wear khaki pants from the Gap.

soccer mom by Anonymous July 18, 2004

Soccer mom

Annoying middle-upper class lady. Picks up here kids at school every day with an SUV or minivan to lug them off to some kind of sports practice. Commonly uses any combination of the v-chip,ESRB, and movie ratings to make sure her kids don't hear any "language" or see any violence. Internet is a "no-no" other than going on kid learning games websites for 45 minutes every day. If someone says "a bad word" near her kids while she is with them, she will quickly cover their ears. Her vehicle usually has a a football sticker or bumper sticker like "My Child is an Honor Student at ________ Elementary School", but no one cares if your little retard of a child is an honor student. She only let's her kids listen to kid's music, old music or Christian music. She makes sure to drive real slow as she wants to protect her "angels" who still sit in a carseat at age 10. Her husband is her source of income.

Was in the grocery, picking up a copy of CS:GO and a dumb soccer mom comes by and yells at me for buying violent games, and proceeds to the topic of terrorism. I say "fuck off" and she then shouts "DON'T USE THAT LANGUAGE NEAR MY SON!" and proceeds to cover his ears. I check out and go home.

Soccer mom by Potatoforpresitend2025 October 18, 2016

Soccer mom

Drives a van, wears sandals, blonde hair and has a kid that wears neon clothing. His name’s Brody. Only talks about Brody’s successes. Brody probably fucking sucks at soccer.

“I just realized I’m a soccer mom” , “you look like a soccer mom”

Soccer mom by Sigismund_Dikjstra June 17, 2018

Soccer mom

A milf that has no job but to take her kids to soccer practice in a Chrysler Pacifica

Dude I’d so stick it in that soccer mom

Soccer mom by Buckwheatismycatsname July 5, 2018

Soccer Mom

A 47 year old mom from texas who pulls up in her black SUV, soccer moms usually push their kids to be the best little soccer star you could ever be they usually have a terrible looking pixie cut and her little girl/boy knows but they cannot tell mom cause she is gonna pull out the belt so be cautious her name is probably along the lines of Susan Barbra or Carol her loving husband is probably named David or Mitch and only wants her for her money her oldest 19 yo daughter Sarah is making on the ‘‘world cup’’ when it’s really the finals of the game cause you know he secretly is on a high dose of weed and beer from all those pubs but she loves her husband and when little Jimmy gets fruit snacks at the end of the game

wow that soccer mom loves her kids

Soccer Mom by chickenpie747 June 17, 2019