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Microsoft Excel

An app created from the 7th circle of Hell. It promises that it acts as an easy-to-use, readily accessible spreadsheet manipulator.

But in reality it slowly rips whatever thin layers of sanity and patience you have left, away... and offers no easy way out.
Past: Et tu Microsoft Excel?
Present: Microsoft Excel is like a keyring with a thousand different keys on it, but only one of the key's open the one lock on one fucking door.
Future: Microsoft Excel?! Oh It is an ancient evil we dare not speak of! For fear of waking the monster beyond the Gates... we must remain silent, yet wary.
by maimed monkey May 11, 2020
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microsoft

A company that has created an operating system that'll eventually follow in the footsteps of VIKI on I, Robot. It'll first take your memory so you can't do anything without a 5 minute wait, then it'll procced to piss you off with error messages.
Person: Where has all my memory gone?
Windows XXP: I have removed it for you own safty, please remain calm.
Person: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

*Bill Gates cackles away evily in his office*
by Random Idiot September 16, 2005
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Microsoft Paint masterpiece

An oxymoron used in urbandictionary.com's suggestion for non-copyrighted material to upload.
"Don't upload copyrighted content - send a drawing, a Microsoft Paint masterpiece, or a photo you took"
by ~The Nameless One~ May 28, 2005
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Microsoft Zombie

Any person who works for Microsoft. They are not able to come up with an original thought. Some people say they are all creatively dead. Others say they are a mindless human being.

Microsoft Zombies are known for stealing ideas from Apple and Linux. Their implementation of a stolen idea is always sub standard. They are also known for trying to prove to the world their products are better.

Microsoft Zombies are also very hypocritical. They are known for saying Google is a monopoly because they have a large share of the internet search market share. If you point out Microsoft has over 90% of the desktops, they will tell you that is "different".
Today a Microsoft Zombie told me to "bing" it.

I went to purchase an IPhone, but a Microsoft Zombie told me I should get a Windows Mobile device.

Only a Microsoft Zombie would say Google has a monopoly!

A Microsoft Zombie will keep a straight face when he tells you Windows Aero is not a rip-off of Linux's Compiz Beryl.

A Microsoft Zombie will try to convince you Windows 7 is cool and hip, and Snow Leopard is a tool of the devil.
by Microsoft Alumni April 6, 2010
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Microsoft

Company bent on world domination. This however will never happen because people keep transferring over to Linux.
Bob: Man I hate Microsoft Windows Xp!!! :(
Rob: That's why you should have switched to Linux you dolt!
by 1337 |-|4x0|2 May 21, 2006
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Microsoft tan

The result of working repeatedly long office hours while sitting too close to a PC, to the extent that one's face takes on a orange hue from monitor exposure/lack of sleep.
Hey Dave, you look really brown. Have you been away?

Nah just Microsoft tan, unfortunately.
by Joystick83 May 18, 2010
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Microsoft Word

Is the most piece shit program of them all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
there is no Examples, just read the definition, Microsoft Word
by Grem711 May 26, 2008
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