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I will send you to Jesus

what an Asian says while holding a sandal threatening you to death.
"I will send you to Jesus" said Dumbledore calmly.
by anonymous January 9, 2022
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jesus year

The 33rd year of your life where you are reborn in some sense. Perhaps a mid-life crisis, perhaps an ego death, perhaps the year where you abandon old ways and start new .... or perhaps you were affixed to a cross and came out the other side a spiritual figure that historians, theologians, worshipers and dissenters make the subject of many a conversation.
"When I turned 33 I quit my job, went broke, then changed my diet, started rebuilding my credit and followed my passion. Yep, that was definitely my Jesus year."
by trickynek August 6, 2014
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Segway Jesus

Person with Jesus like qualities (long hair, sandals, beard) who floats around from place to place on a segway, no matter how close or far away the destination may be. Typically embraces their own resemblance to Jesus.
Hey, check it out. It's a segway Jesus on his way to the mail center.
by Segway Jesus Observer March 20, 2009
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Jesus bar

The handle found directly above the seats of most motor vehicles. May or may not be retractable. It's primary use is to be gripped as the passenger prays, swears, or screams.
He grabbed the Jesus bar as she took the car on two wheels.
by schizoartist October 26, 2004
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Zombie Jesus Day

Easter... when Jesus rose from the dead... and we all know what a person is when he rises from the dead...

Taken from Cyanide and Happiness comics on April 8, 2007.
by RhapsodyEternal April 24, 2007
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Jesus Murphy

Canadian Jesus Christ. Meant to be said as an expletive.
What time is it? Jesus Murphy, I’m late!

Sue screams Jesus Murphy after she see’s a spider. She’s a total arachnophobe.

I like saying Jesus Murphy instead of using the lords name in vain.
by Kaizo64 September 1, 2018
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Jesus Driver

A person who drives like a asshole, with a religious radio station sticker or logo on the car.
by vwsurf August 15, 2009
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