Self-Mutilation

The only pain in which someone can control, bull, it is a way of self-pity, you feel sorry for yourself so you cut yourself.

Guy 1: What's on your arm?

Guy 2: Happy scars!

Guy 1: Are you cuting yourself again?

Guy 2: Yeah!

Guy 1: But why? your not having hard times or anything, your life is perfect.

Guy 2: I just want to fit in and someone told me if I cut myself I'd be cool.

Guy 1: OMG, stop, I have trouble in my life, that's why i cut myself.

Guy 2: OMG, you need to stop.

Guy 1: AHHHH!

Self-Mutilation by Who The Douce Are You? April 16, 2005

Self Harm 

A stupid way to cope. Please never do this, if you are in crisis, reach out for help. Self-harming won't help you. Please take care.

Boy: Are you okay?
Girl: I self-harmed..
Boy: Please get help. Don't self harm.
Girl: Okay.

Self Harm by alexbitchboy December 25, 2021

Self Swirl Popsicle 

Also known as SSP. During any type of sex, the male ejaculates into his hand. The ejaculate is smeared over a finger (mostly the middle but any works). The male then sticks the finger up his own ass, slowly pulling it out and licking it clean.

My girlfriend and I were having phone sex and towards the end I enjoyed a self swirl popsicle.

Self Swirl Popsicle by GothFreak December 28, 2006

Self Adulation 

One of the great reasons that Jesus isn't going to barge in any time soon and destroy the world. Due largely to the success regarding the saturation of Christianity (and affiliated ideas)in human belief and every day life. Whether acknowledged or not.

Big clue: Jesus cannot worship himself. Thus cannot be re-born into this world currently.


Talk amongst yourselves!

The self adulation paradox really gets the ecclesiastic control freaks in a snit.

It is possible to: "WWJD"

It isn't at all possible to: "I am the fucking second coming of Christ, do as I command" (For reasons beyond such psychological mutation being nothing more than "Caa-rack Nigga" reasoning).

Self Adulation by Nefarious Aflatus December 23, 2008

self-flagulating

farting into a rag and then sniffing it

Before every self-flagulating radio address, George Bush eats a can of beans, then sticks a microphone up his ass and lets it rip for the consumption of the nation.

self-flagulating by Peter C. Shelby May 8, 2008

Self-regulation 

That's the issue, isn't it?

Hym "You know, the participants ask 'what can I do to get him to do what I want him to do?' and the answer is 'nothing until the problem is acknowledged'. I've outlined the problem. You all refuse to acknowledge it. You have attributed to me an inability to self-regulate. You've taken it upon yourself to step in (in Orwellian fashion) to aggregate and disseminate information. The purpose is irrelevant. The presupposition of the act is that you are capable of self-regulation so this doesn't need to happen to you but I am incapable of self-regulation (in a way that you are not) and so your surveillance of me is not only justified but necessary. You are not qualified to make that assessment. Nor do you have the authority. You will do the thing I want you to do or I will do a thing I don't want to do in direct response to the act. It's the only choice you've left me. Hurry it up. I haven't got all morning."

Self-regulation by Hym Iam May 20, 2022

Self Harm 

To wank or masturbate

Dave: You alright there Steve you look a little uncomfortable?
Steve: Nah mate my nob is red raw, I overinduleged in some self harm whilst watching loose women earlier.

Self Harm by superjac March 27, 2008