Jesus Cockblock

When a guy can't go any further with his girlfriend because he is too pious with his religious beliefs.
synonyms: cockblock, Jesus, religion
antonyms: sex. running the bases

Guy 1: "Man, Landon can't get any action from his girl."
Guy 2: "Why not?"
Guy 1 "He's got that Jesus cockblock
by rocky2012 December 22, 2011
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Jesus on paper

When you draw a kick ass manga with yo niggas
aww shit remember that comic we posted on Deviantart that shit was jesus on paper
by JavaCrona and Mars345 September 16, 2009
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Blonde Jesus

(noun, adjective) A blonde-haired person that resembles Jesus Christ, our Lord and saviour.
Eg. "Madi Smith is a Blonde Jesus for many reasons. One of which is her thick and long, luscious blonde locks and another is her Jesus-like appearance and personality!"
by pseudondonym November 11, 2011
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botanical Jesus

(or the green Savior)
Cannabis.
-Produce 4 times more cellulose (to make paper) than wood on the same surface every season (a tree takes years to be usable).
-Its fiber is better than cotton AND ecological. Used to make anything that use fibers (clothes, accessories, rope, etc).
-Cultivation-wise it has the qualities of a "bad" weed : hardy, prolific, low maintenance (ecological and economic).
-Produce a healthy cooking oil. The oil can also be used for fuel.
-Quality, tasty food, drinks and protein can be made from it.
-Marijuana has a wide range of medical uses (painkiller, anti-glaucoma, appetite stimulant for cancer and AIDS patients, etc). With no nasty side effect.
-Cool looking leaf. Decorative and symbolic.
-Last but not least. The safest recreational drug. Would prolly be voted The best recreational drug in a worldwide poll.

Personally I use it only to get high (you prolly do too) but the other uses make a lot of people and the environment happy too.
Let botanical Jesus into your lungs !
by Qu4rtzRox July 07, 2005
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Rappin' for Jesus

A popular song made by Pastor Jim Colerick and Mary Sue Colerick who most likely fucks the people in his church but Well I wrote this song for the Christian youth
I wanna teach kids the Christian truth
If you wanna reach those kids on the street
Then you gotta do a rap to a hip-hop beat
I gave my sermon an urban kick
My rhymes are fly, my beats are sick
My crew is big and it keeps getting bigger
That's cause Jesus Christ is my nigga
Oooooooo
He's a life-changer, miracle-arranger
Born to the virgin mom in a manger
Water to wine, he's a drink exchanger
And he died for your sins
I preach the word, that's my gig
And I rhyme better than Notorious BIG
Other emcees, I wish them well
But if you live in sin, you burn in hell
Now I'ma pass the mic to my lovely wife
She's a fly emcee and the light of my life
So to bust a rhyme without further ado
Take it away, Mary Sue!
Jesus Christ is my nigga
I am officially a Rappin' for Jesus Christian
by Go ring the durbell October 01, 2020
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Jesus guest

n. (Gee^ zuz gest) An arrogant person who thinks that budget motels should have Marriott or Hilton standards in accordance to amenities. Also has a high demand for decaffeinated coffee.
Darla the Jesus guest demanded the lobby serve decaf coffee during her free continental breakfast.
by lordvader1982 November 16, 2010
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