german croissant

When your flaccid dong is half way wrapped around your balls like your wrapping them up

Boy 1: Last night I was trying to “cook up” a German croissant but I just couldn’t do it
Boy 2: dang that sucks

by Tyler crock August 1, 2018

German Army Helmet

A gift you give to another person but really intend to use it or benefit from it yourself.

I got my husband a new lawn mower for Christmas, but it’s really a German army helmet. Now he’ll have to mow our lawn!

I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.

by kdawk August 3, 2018

german fun wheel

A not-so-subtle alternate name for a certain piece of national socialist iconography; literally a meme name for a swastika to make it sound less threatening.

My buddy just got back from Charleston... he got a sick new tattoo, he hasn't shown me yet but he says its a german fun wheel. Sounds cool, right?

by Nophux1453 August 30, 2018

German Monkey Contraption

suspenders or any contraption to hold up the pants.

Hitler: I like the juice.
Rachel: thanks, their German Monkey Contraptions

by TwoFlamingFlamingos June 6, 2018

Tactical German hand edge

If a toddler is indecent, misbehaves or naughty, her parents will smack her hand in the face, in good old Prussian fashion. Thus, the child is tactically immobilized.

John: "The motherfucker just won't be quiet! It doesn't help!"
Hans: "I know something. An old German educational method"
*Tactical German hand edge on child's face, causing child to magically calm down*

by The Görmen August 21, 2022

German gaslight

Like Mexican gaslighting, but regarding other genocides as opposed to the spicy-ness of food.

Also a tongue-in-cheek politically incorrect dark humor-jab at concentration camps in general.

Normal person: “Man I can’t believe the Nazis killed that many Jews”
German Gaslighter: “yeah well Stalin was worse! And have you seen what China has been doing??”

by krautwich August 21, 2022

German Hotdog

Pooping on your partners stomach and forming a hotdog by transforming the faeces into the shape of a hotdog bread. Optionally this can be consumed with a bit of "hotdog-sauce"

Babe do you want a german hotdog for dinner today?

by yeeeturmeat September 7, 2022