An american author best known for suspense thrillers, often including the supernatural. His prose is excellent, and his plots are often original, however his books are characterized by flat characters and unrealistically neat endings. They often have extremely heavy christian overtones, with static, exaggerated characters, making the books incident driven instead of character driven. Dean Koontz writes about five or six boks a year, and so due to this rapid production speed his books often feature very similar heroes/villains/endings/themes/dogs/settings.
Person1: Guess which Dean Koontz book I am thinking of.
Person2: Give me a clue.
Person1: It has a heroic dog in it.
Person2: That narrows it down to about thirty books.
Person1: Okay, this one has a strong, beautiful, determined female with a gentle, more sensitive male counterpart.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has an evil, corrupt, sadistic, deviant atheist as the villain, who has a god complex, likes raping people, and has a weird hobby for no reason whatsoever.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: Alright, now I'm thinking of one where the hero is a humble, loving, heroic, caring, clean-living christian with high moral standards and a dislike of evolution science and anything psychologically explaining the abstract concept of 'evil'.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has a too-neat ending where the evil side is totally destroyed and the good guys all live happily ever after with faith and love in some american-apple-pie family situation.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: The christian overtones are so heavy that it feels like he is beating me around the head with his bible and shouting in my ear.
Person2: Seventy books.
Person1: It's really really good.
Person2: (looks blank)
Person2: Give me a clue.
Person1: It has a heroic dog in it.
Person2: That narrows it down to about thirty books.
Person1: Okay, this one has a strong, beautiful, determined female with a gentle, more sensitive male counterpart.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has an evil, corrupt, sadistic, deviant atheist as the villain, who has a god complex, likes raping people, and has a weird hobby for no reason whatsoever.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: Alright, now I'm thinking of one where the hero is a humble, loving, heroic, caring, clean-living christian with high moral standards and a dislike of evolution science and anything psychologically explaining the abstract concept of 'evil'.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has a too-neat ending where the evil side is totally destroyed and the good guys all live happily ever after with faith and love in some american-apple-pie family situation.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: The christian overtones are so heavy that it feels like he is beating me around the head with his bible and shouting in my ear.
Person2: Seventy books.
Person1: It's really really good.
Person2: (looks blank)
by MegaSolipsist December 5, 2011
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The act of simultaneously taking offense, complaining, and arguing aggressively about subjects that have little to no consequence on real life affairs. "Koontzing out" will continue whether attention is given or not, effects multiplied astronomically when mixed with alcohol.
The act of simultaneously taking offense, complaining, and arguing aggressively about subjects that have little to no consequence on real life affairs. "Koontzing out" will continue whether attention is given or not, effects multiplied astronomically when mixed with alcohol.
"Dude, you hit my Macbook, with a packet of fire sauce that did absolutely no damage, do you know how much this thing co--"
"Dude. Dude. DUDE. You're Koontzing out right now. Stop. Stop. HEY. STOP." *leaves room*
"Dude. Dude. DUDE. You're Koontzing out right now. Stop. Stop. HEY. STOP." *leaves room*
by Thadeus Cook February 24, 2011
Get the Koontzing Out mug.Noun. The fictional land where those People of Color/People from maligned Communities who repeat and parrot the words of racist, white supremacists, and member of the white patriarchy originate from. The Land of Koonesia has all Coon Condominiums. Clerance Thomas, Herman Cain, Larry Elders, and Jessie Lee Peterson are considered the Founding Sambos, and Candice Owens is its Patron Saint of Sellout Summit.
"Man, look at Hershel Walker tap dancing for them White Folks. I bet his condo in KOONESIA is right by Stepen Fetchit Beach.
by Thomas "The Villain" Bishop April 19, 2022
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Get the Koontz'd mug.1. A seal of approval of anything related to the outdoors.
2. A person or group of people dedicated to a outdoor life style.
2. A person or group of people dedicated to a outdoor life style.
by Kdod7 December 1, 2021
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