An alcoholic beverage consisting of brandy, burban, gin, vodka, tequila, and kahlúa.
by Phinor February 4, 2011
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A term meant for a person who is a well accomplished sniper in the marine corps. Their uncle was shot down in a helicopter. They speak 4 different languages-English, German, Russian, and bullshit. (primarily bullshit)
They are direct descendants of Adolf Hitler, a man who had no children. They are so dedicated to the bullshit they speak, they would gun down anyone who stood in their way. They know how to assemble a nuclear submarine blindfolded, yet cannot identify the location of a carburetor on a vehicle. To be a proper Koontz, you must have undergone extensive marine sniper training in Fort Bragg, Oklahoma. You say there is no Fort Bragg in Oklahoma? That's how top secret it is.

Koontzes have been shot in the chest multiple times with a 30 ought 6 rifle. You also own a .17 caliber rifle. A .44 magnum round tickles, yet when a dog jumps on your knee, you are crippled for at least a week.
To be a Koontz is to be a god.
Koontz tore down the Berlin Wall.
Koontz won World WarII. The bomb from the Enola Gay failed to drop, so Koontz carried the bomb in on his back, then detonated it, living to tell the tale.
by the asdf September 24, 2009
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"I was banging this chick the other night, and she totally let me Koontz on her face!"
by The Trashman 2727 September 27, 2013
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when a female or males gentials smell so bad u just wanna throw up....they have crusted infected dried cum n piss all over themsleves n what they ate is having a affexct on the odour of such departmet
"man i was eating out shelly n i almost koontz i mean that was dirty she had all yeast infection"
"johhny makes me koontz he tried to make me suck his shwang"
by australian pranker August 30, 2005
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An american author best known for suspense thrillers, often including the supernatural. His prose is excellent, and his plots are often original, however his books are characterized by flat characters and unrealistically neat endings. They often have extremely heavy christian overtones, with static, exaggerated characters, making the books incident driven instead of character driven. Dean Koontz writes about five or six boks a year, and so due to this rapid production speed his books often feature very similar heroes/villains/endings/themes/dogs/settings.
Person1: Guess which Dean Koontz book I am thinking of.
Person2: Give me a clue.
Person1: It has a heroic dog in it.
Person2: That narrows it down to about thirty books.
Person1: Okay, this one has a strong, beautiful, determined female with a gentle, more sensitive male counterpart.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has an evil, corrupt, sadistic, deviant atheist as the villain, who has a god complex, likes raping people, and has a weird hobby for no reason whatsoever.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: Alright, now I'm thinking of one where the hero is a humble, loving, heroic, caring, clean-living christian with high moral standards and a dislike of evolution science and anything psychologically explaining the abstract concept of 'evil'.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has a too-neat ending where the evil side is totally destroyed and the good guys all live happily ever after with faith and love in some american-apple-pie family situation.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: The christian overtones are so heavy that it feels like he is beating me around the head with his bible and shouting in my ear.
Person2: Seventy books.
Person1: It's really really good.
Person2: (looks blank)
by MegaSolipsist December 5, 2011
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-transitive verb

The act of simultaneously taking offense, complaining, and arguing aggressively about subjects that have little to no consequence on real life affairs. "Koontzing out" will continue whether attention is given or not, effects multiplied astronomically when mixed with alcohol.
"Dude, you hit my Macbook, with a packet of fire sauce that did absolutely no damage, do you know how much this thing co--"

"Dude. Dude. DUDE. You're Koontzing out right now. Stop. Stop. HEY. STOP." *leaves room*
by Thadeus Cook February 6, 2011
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