2 definitions by MegaSolipsist

Top Definition
An american author best known for suspense thrillers, often including the supernatural. His prose is excellent, and his plots are often original, however his books are characterized by flat characters and unrealistically neat endings. They often have extremely heavy christian overtones, with static, exaggerated characters, making the books incident driven instead of character driven. Dean Koontz writes about five or six boks a year, and so due to this rapid production speed his books often feature very similar heroes/villains/endings/themes/dogs/settings.
Person1: Guess which Dean Koontz book I am thinking of.
Person2: Give me a clue.
Person1: It has a heroic dog in it.
Person2: That narrows it down to about thirty books.
Person1: Okay, this one has a strong, beautiful, determined female with a gentle, more sensitive male counterpart.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has an evil, corrupt, sadistic, deviant atheist as the villain, who has a god complex, likes raping people, and has a weird hobby for no reason whatsoever.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: Alright, now I'm thinking of one where the hero is a humble, loving, heroic, caring, clean-living christian with high moral standards and a dislike of evolution science and anything psychologically explaining the abstract concept of 'evil'.
Person2: Forty books.
Person1: This one has a too-neat ending where the evil side is totally destroyed and the good guys all live happily ever after with faith and love in some american-apple-pie family situation.
Person2: Fifty books.
Person1: The christian overtones are so heavy that it feels like he is beating me around the head with his bible and shouting in my ear.
Person2: Seventy books.
Person1: It's really really good.
Person2: (looks blank)
by MegaSolipsist December 05, 2011
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A fat, self-centered girl with porcine features and the personality of Mel Gibson. Favourite occupations include bitching about other people to make her feel better about herself and stirring up trouble for the sake of it.
Someone disliked even by her own family, who is too enraptured with herself to notice.
Also known as a Reality Troll; Brucy; Bruce-Pig; Him-Bitch;
May be mistaken for an overweight guy in poor light.
Example 1;
Guy 1: Hey, do you think that she's hot enough to sleep with?
Guy 2: Hell no! She's a Lucy Patrick for sure. I'd be too scared that she would try and eat me. And then bitch about me not tasting good.

Example 2;
Guy 1: Hey, did you hear that Brucy was being so bitchy that some guy actually tried to strangle her?
Guy 2: Yeah, I heard about that. Her brother was there and just laughed about it afterwards.
Guy 1: That guy is awesome. I don't know how he could be related to a Reality Troll like her.
by MegaSolipsist March 21, 2012
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