masturbation

an activity that every man has participated in.

You're into masturbation so why do you deny it?

by it's like shaving March 29, 2010

masturbation

pleasure acquired from the act of touching ones own privates.

text message
female: have you ever had masturbation frustration?

male: stoking my penis..
female: palming my clit naked on my bed. my legs are open.
male: good girl. how would you treat my johnny if you were here?
female: i'd suck you dry...

male: ooo? then you deserve a palm job till you squirt.
female: mm i like your big hands.

by naughtygirl November 18, 2013

masturbate

I once heard the late George Carlin at a live performance reel off hundreds of witty slang synonyms for masturbation, but his final entry, and the punchline for his entire performance, was,

"Crowning the King."

I thought it was the funniest.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! Prince Andrew! How much longer are you going to be in there?

Prince Andrew: Just a little while longer, Grand Mum.

Queen Elizabeth II: Prince Andrew! You are not endevouring to masturbate in there, are you?

Prince Andrew: Of course not, Grand Mum--I'm Crowning the King!

by Dr. Whosis December 20, 2009

Masturbation

One of the greatest joys in life. Discovered (hopefully) when you go through puberty.

Andrew Dice Clay: Masturbation is king. Oh yeah, you know it, I know it so who are we bullshittin'?

by tenaciousd6936 August 19, 2006

masturbate

To jack one's beanstalk.
Or, to choke one's chicken.

I enjoy choking my chicken.

by Ass Clown November 3, 2002

Masturbation

The Sole Purpose Of Myspace Pictures

I pulled up Jennies myspace and worked on my masturbation

by calikid December 14, 2008

masturbation

The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.

Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!

by Nick November 10, 2002