Guaraí

the WORST CITY in the ENTIRETY of Brazil, it's a GIANT FUCKING SHITHOLE and im not kidding it is FUCKING HORRIBLE, the streets smell like semen, the dogs bite everyone on the street, half of all the men are degenerates (the other half fled the city), half of the women are also degenerates (since women are technically smarter they know that the best option would be to just kill themselves)and EVERY FUCKING DAY from 7pm to 4:30 am you can hear GUNSHOTS in EVERY PART OF THE TOWN. NEVER GO THERE, ITS A FUCKING SHIT HOLE. GUARAÍ IS A FUCKING SHITHOLE, EVEN WORSE THEN HELL, AND IF VISIT THERE AND COME BACK THERE IS AN 95% CHANCE THAT YOU WILL BE PUT IN A PSYCHIATRIC FUCKING HOSPITAL, GUARAÍ IS FUCKING HELL. MY GIRLFRIEND'S STEP-BROTHER WENT THERE AND WHEN HE CAME BACK HE SHAT HIS PANTS, SMEARED IT ON THE WALL, SLAPPED MY GIRLFRIEND'S MOM'S ASS, ATE HIS FUCKING PILLOW(don't know how tf did he do that), CUT OFF HIS DICK, BALLS AND NIPPELES, REMOVED HIS TEETH, AND SHOVED MY GIRLFRIEND'S STEPDAD'S GLASSES UP HIS ASS AND THEN WHEN WE SENT HIM TO THE NEAREST PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL HE FUCKING CLIMBED ON THE VENTS AND CUMMED ALL OVER THE MANAGER'S DESK FROM UP THERE IN THE VENT AND EVERYTHING WHILE SHOUTING "FLAMENGO PRIMEIRO GUARAÍ É O LUGAR DOS DEMONIOS EU SOU GAY EO DAVI ME CHUPOU" OVER AND OVER AGAIN (we don't know who is davi but we're searching beacuse maybe it wasnt actually the city), trust me i watched everything.
Moral of the story, don't go there, it's a mess. Thank you.

Person 1: Dude you've ever been to Guaraí?
Person 2: Oh hell no! Don't try to trick me dumbass!

by Yournumba1fan December 30, 2024

Flag

Get the Guaraí mug.

guarantea

What little kids detest about a visit to Gramma's house (explanation below).

Da term "guarantea" can have two similarly-agonizing-to-da-second-generation meanings regarding non-negotiable leaves-in-boiling-water sippin' --- either Gramma will make her small-fry descendants gaggingly consume one or more cups of said bland watery brew ("I've always LOVED tea, as did my parents' families and all of their relatives before them"), or she'll chattingly and unhurriedly partake of it herself along with all of da other grownups who are present, and thus said group of oblivious adults will make said pint-sized offspring feel ignored and "invisible" for extended periods.

by QuacksO January 29, 2026

Flag