New Moon is the second novel in the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer. It is another desperate rant about how
Bella's life has gone awry yet again (oh noes =O) because
Edward, being a
pussy and unable to handle their relationship "difficulties", ditched her and promised to never come back. (Good riddance.)
Bella turns into a zombie because she is completely oblivious of the real world (since her senses filter out anything that is NOT
Edward -- ie. Zomg I have friends at
school???) and because she had a
non-existent personality to begin with. She soon falls dependent on her werewolf rebound, Jacob, who actually thinks it's a score to hang out with
Bella. (What d'ya know, another disgrace to supernatural beings.) He has no idea that Bella is just using him as a source of sanity and for opportunities of suicide (because she's so incompetent she lacks the know-how of self-destruction.)
Edward couldn't deal with his epic fail any better, but at least he had the willpower to rid the world of himself. Instead of moving on to, oh, let's say, a more worthy significant other (which should be
hella easy to find, after BELLA) he decides to completely waste himself. His actions displayed a form of character UNdevelopment which was somehow interpreted as passion by some people. T_____T
The middle chapters are predictable as
hell. Current readers: for your benefit, just guess what happens and skip to the end. Or better yet, ditch the book and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia to discover that you have saved a great deal of time and brain cells. Really.
Edward: Sht this isn't working. K ummm…. bye!
Bella: O_O
Edward... gone? Bella... no live... *commences severe mental and social retardation*
Jacob: YO sweet, a damsel in distress.
Bella: Edddwwaaaarrdddd....OO JACOB! But... Edddwwaaardddd T.T i should go die. <-*sole idea of reason in the whole book*
The rest of New Moon: *
random filler action and oh-so-much more corny dialogue*
and GUESS WHAT!? EDWARD AND BELLA GET BACK TOGETHER! WHO’DA THOUGHT!?!?!
Reader: *Resists urge to kill something*
