Blowjobs after marriage are like Bigfoot: you hear stories, occasionally you see pictures, but you never experience it for yourself.
by SkidMarkyMark June 11, 2006
Get the blowjobs after marriage mug.Have you even been getting head and the girl blowing you has looked up and asked “are you almost there yet?” all the while your thinking “you just started 5 minutes ago?” only to look at the clock and see an hour has passed?
This is not simply a matter of “time fly’s by when you’re having a good time”. There is a relatively simple mathematical explanation for this that also answers why some 20 year old girls look like they are in their 40s.
1. Firstly understand that like matter, time cannot be created or destroyed.
We can start by giving a Blow Job a scalar quantity to help mathematically differentiate a good blow job and bad blow job.
2. The Scalars are as follows; 0.1 – 1.9
0.1 being the absolute best possible blow job
3. The BJ/Time Equation: BJ*T= TAm
BJ= Blow Job scalar (as discussed above)
T= Real time passed
TAm= Time aged, male
Example: Your receive a decently good blow job at an estimated scalar quantity of 0.7 for sixty minutes
0.7*60= 42
Meaning that in sixty minutes of receiving head you have only aged 42 minutes, however as aforementioned time cannot be created or destroyed so the 18 minutes you lost in that hour are carried over to the girl blowing you.
So in sixty minutes of her blowing you she’s aged 78 minutes.
This explains why some women in their 20’s look like they’re in their 40’s ; they’ve given tonnes of amazing blow jobs over the past 20 years of her life, thus aging them significantly.
This is not simply a matter of “time fly’s by when you’re having a good time”. There is a relatively simple mathematical explanation for this that also answers why some 20 year old girls look like they are in their 40s.
1. Firstly understand that like matter, time cannot be created or destroyed.
We can start by giving a Blow Job a scalar quantity to help mathematically differentiate a good blow job and bad blow job.
2. The Scalars are as follows; 0.1 – 1.9
0.1 being the absolute best possible blow job
3. The BJ/Time Equation: BJ*T= TAm
BJ= Blow Job scalar (as discussed above)
T= Real time passed
TAm= Time aged, male
Example: Your receive a decently good blow job at an estimated scalar quantity of 0.7 for sixty minutes
0.7*60= 42
Meaning that in sixty minutes of receiving head you have only aged 42 minutes, however as aforementioned time cannot be created or destroyed so the 18 minutes you lost in that hour are carried over to the girl blowing you.
So in sixty minutes of her blowing you she’s aged 78 minutes.
This explains why some women in their 20’s look like they’re in their 40’s ; they’ve given tonnes of amazing blow jobs over the past 20 years of her life, thus aging them significantly.
Dude 1: Dude you look wicked youthful
Dude 2: Yeah Jessica must have blown me back 2 years in this week alone
Dude 1: Aw yeah, Jessica loves giving sucking dick and it really shows. She amazing at it.
Dude 2: Yeah, its a ashame she looks like shes 84 though.
Dude 1: well i guess those are just the dynamics of blow job physics
Dude 2: Yeah Jessica must have blown me back 2 years in this week alone
Dude 1: Aw yeah, Jessica loves giving sucking dick and it really shows. She amazing at it.
Dude 2: Yeah, its a ashame she looks like shes 84 though.
Dude 1: well i guess those are just the dynamics of blow job physics
by Sandduneman January 27, 2011
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by D.a.a. May 8, 2008
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Generally, this is when two girls lick and suck 1 cock in both their mouths at the same time.
Generally, this is when two girls lick and suck 1 cock in both their mouths at the same time.
When both Melissa and Sandra gave me a Double Blow Job,I blasted both their faces with a huge, sticky load of white, hot jizz and watched as they Snowball my load in both their mouths!
by E-Dog June 8, 2004
Get the Double Blow Job mug.The incredible ability most New England girls have to give a fucking great bj, often due to the attention they give your balls beforehand. This is believed to be the result of the Irish influence in New England, because they enjoy this sort of attention.
Abbv: NEBJ
Abbv: NEBJ
by E-$$ January 11, 2008
Get the New England Blow Job mug.To receive a blowjob from a woman whom you would not normally think to be attractive. And not caring. Usually due to Inebriation
Gary- Hey, seen you leave the lodge last night with some fugly one
John- Yeah, got the blobjob though!!
(high five, followed by awkward silence)
John- Yeah, got the blobjob though!!
(high five, followed by awkward silence)
by crash-2-burn April 4, 2010
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