kojak's helper

a penis

i was playing with kojak's wee helper last night

by Clive October 8, 2003

Lane Line Helper

A swimmer term used for when you backstorke, and you get tired or lazy. So as you pull your arm back ( as you backstroke) so you can grab the lane line and you pull your self closer to the fianish.

I was using my lane line helper all practice!

by Man ladies R US June 17, 2009

Making a Helmet

To gain and erection and successfully ejaculate to a set of hentai pictures found abroad the internet.

John said, "Woah, I just made the biggest helmet! These instructions are really thorough. Awwwww yeah!" "John," Said Hailey, "You are really hot whenever you're making a helmet on my face.

by bloodi x wolf April 29, 2010

Plumber's Helper

When an especially adventuresome young lady rams her fist up your ass for a nice relaxing Reem job and wacks your wang at the same time until you spooge, and then suddenly yanks her hand out, cleaning both front and rear plumbing in one go.

Wow, no need to go to hydrotherapy this week, Courtney gave me a really great Plumber's Helper last night while we were watching the playoffs....

by Evil Santa October 18, 2010

Bloody Astronaut's Helmet

An unraveled condom that is then inserted into a woman's vagina that is on the rag. After marinating in her discharge anywhere from 1-36 hours it is removed. The "astronaut" then blows it up and wears it over his head.

Peja: Hey Mills, did you hear about Hawks?

Mills: No, what did that freak do now?

Peja: Apparently the only way he can get off is when his girl is on her period and he performs the bloody astronaut's helmet.

Mills: That is so fucking hot....

by Shirtless Peja March 21, 2014

shit on my helmet

When a man is performing anal sex and upon pulling out discovers there is shit caked under/around his penis head.

You need to flush out better next time... I've got shit on my helmet!

by Cooptastic November 20, 2015

German Army Helmet

A gift you give to another person but really intend to use it or benefit from it yourself.

I got my husband a new lawn mower for Christmas, but it’s really a German army helmet. Now he’ll have to mow our lawn!

I got my roommate a German army helmet for Christmas.. the newest espresso machine! Now I don’t have to go to Starbucks anymore.

by kdawk August 3, 2018