Jesus Chatline

A religious chat line run by two pastors, Richard Burnish and Steven Chilton. It is commonly trolled by channel 4 users and people who have nothing else to do, like the reader who looked this definition up.

Bob: Hey, whats that religious streaming service called?

Mike: Oh, Jesus Chatline!

by Dank Tellituby May 13, 2017

Jesus

My mexican gardener, he does a great job

Me: Jesus, you did a great job on the tulips yesterday!

Jesus: Gracias!

by Anastacia Beverhausen October 10, 2005

Jesus loves you

Common word in beggers language.
Best used with phrase "God bleess you" with or without "...and have a nice day!"
JC!OMG!

"Spare a coin?"
-"Go away!"
"Jesus loves you!"

by Helter Skelter January 5, 2005

black jesus

Something that white people hate and can not admit since the real Jesus was black.

White Person: Jesus was black? NO WAY! TIME FOR SUICIDE!

by bebo January 10, 2005

jesuspie

A fictional pastry used to illustrate a persons inability to understand and discuss theology through any angle, especially in the academic world.

Would you like a piece of jesuspie? You unbelievably opinionless, both mentally and verbally challenged timewaster.

by Aelgfan. March 17, 2007

Jesus

A white American who was born in the Jewish middle east about two thousand years ago when dinosaurs were still walking around the earth because God made the earth in seven days. He was devoutly Republican, and a great friend of Ronald Reagon and George Bush Senior. He enjoyed golfing, the Stock Market, and the occasional damning of a democrat.
He resembled Chuck Norris in such a way that many asked for "his autograph," to be terribly disappointed when he signed it, "Christ."

Q: What would Jesus do?
A: Invade, all the way George. He's practically screaming it.

by JBEandfriends January 23, 2008

Jesus shoes

flip flops or sandals, must have a strap between one or more toes, can be any material but leather is prefered

he came back from the beach and is still wearing his jesus shoes

by oneofone May 9, 2013