Thomas the Turtle

A term commonly used to exemplify the fact that all Thomas-es slightly resemble turtles. Also, it is used to mock young, muscular men who enjoy eating sandwiches, wrestling, and refer to their father's by their first name.

Girl1: Woah..... that guy is such a Thomas the Turtle!!

Girl2: Wow... Tom sure looks like a turtle!!! Soo... that's why they call him Thomas the turtle!

Thomas the Turtle by hge13 December 22, 2010

Lisa Turtle 

Being the only black person in a group of white people

I would run for congress but I don't want to be a Lisa Turtle.

Lisa Turtle by Thisguy34 September 6, 2013

Throw the turtle 

The act of throwing a turtle against the wall in a post masturbation rage. Or to pleasure yourself by vigarous masturbation.

When I read my old issues of Boys Life I have an overwhelming urge to throw the turtle.

Throw the turtle by Poppy410 June 29, 2014

Respect the turtle 

Masturbate. Ask Craig Ferguson.

I was just in the bathroom trying to respect the turtle!

Respect the turtle by Briana83 May 24, 2014

Stuffed Turtle 

When a man allows his penis to invert inside his body and a woman uses a strap on dildo (or a man uses his erect penis) to penetrate the whole created by the inverted penis.

I'm so cold honey, quick give me the stuffed turtle before its too late!

Stuffed Turtle by roboatse January 16, 2011

cool_turtle.gif 

Predecessor of cool_rat.gif, this is a gif involving a man somehow capable of fitting his flaccid penis inside of a live turtle, he then proceeds to have forced intercourse with the poor thing as it struggles to get away.

I caught Ethan fucking the turtle again while he was watching cool_turtle.gif on the family laptop!

cool_turtle.gif by Shrektum February 3, 2021

backwards texas turtle 

When you put the erected penis through the legs so it's sticking out the back. Then you proceed to putting the penis into an asshole ( The asshole must be gaping) and start fucking it like there is no tomorrow.

Dude last night was so great, I gave Jessica a backwards Texas turtle!

backwards texas turtle by ResentedMoose January 2, 2017