Nisbet's law 

This law states that no subject or topic is considered taboo during lunch or food-consuming intervals.

*During lunch*

Mark: Was playing with my foreskin lint last night, then fapped to some loli. My keyboard is encrusted with ginger pubes and dick cheese.

John: Jesus fuck, always when we sit down. I call this Nisbet's law.

Nisbet's law by IP3Cali April 29, 2010

Mitchell's Law 

Mitchell's Law states that with each new person involved in a conversation, the probability of blaming a politician or political group who had nothing to do with original subject will become more likely to occur.

Person 1: I like pizza
Person 2: Its better with crust
Person 3: NOT WITH OBAMA IN OFFICE!!!/?
Person 1: Woo! Three entries to attain Mitchell's Law!!

Mitchell's Law by Dopaz August 13, 2010

Murphy's Traffic Law 

The simple fact of reality which states that whenever one is in a hurry, one or more of the following effects are experienced when driving a car:

-Chance of encountering consecutive red lights is increased.

-When in an intersection, chance of having a left turn larry in your line is increased.

-Chance of getting stuck behind an extremely conservative driver or a naturally slower vehicle is greatly increased.

Basically, the Murphy's Law of driving. If you need to get their fast, you're going to get their less quickly.

Boss - You're late.

Flunky - Sorry. 6 red lights in a row, got stuck behind an 18-wheeler, and it seemed like everyone just wanted to turn left today.

Crony - Murphy's Traffic Law. Respect.

Murphy's Traffic Law by magzillas November 7, 2010

Zuckerberg's Law 

If they could have done it, they would have done it.

Zuckerberg's Law:“If you were the inventors of facebook, you would have invented Facebook”- Mark “Jesse Eisenberg” Zuckerberg

Zuckerberg's Law by Bilak1964 September 27, 2011

Tinder's Law of Attraction 

On Tinder and similar dating sites, when trying to figure out who the appropriate person is in a group photo, always err on the side of the least attractive person.

Gary: How am I supposed to know which one she is? The only pictures she posted were group photos.

Tim: She is most likely the least attractive person in the group. It's Tinder's Law of Attraction.

Tinder's Law of Attraction by Dr.Daunt June 13, 2015

Covfefe’s Law

A proof posted online that: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Trump approaches 1. So far it has not been unproven.

When will articles about kittens stop hitting Covfefe’s Law!

Covfefe’s Law by LaVarTrump July 19, 2017

Swinson’s Law 

One step on from Malcolm’s Law, Swinson’s Law states that if something can go wrong, it will go wrong, in the worst possible way, at the worst possible time and will all sorts of unforeseen and unpleasant fallout effects. Named after Jo Swinson who appeared from political obscurity in UK as Leader of the Liberal Democrats and announced that if she got into power she would reverse the decision to leave the European Union in contravention of the will of the British people, not very liberal or democratic. A rather silly woman who would be out of her depth in a car park puddle.

“Malcolm says he just loves Jo Swinson and hopes she gets into power.”
“No surprise there, Swinson’s law compared to Malcolm's law makes him look good.”

Swinson’s Law by AKACroatalin November 3, 2019