Defcon Shit System

Defcon 5: No Threat. You probably just took a huge shit.
Defcon 4: There's potential. Either enough time has passed since your last shit, or your last shit you don't feel emptied you out, or you feel slightly unwell and could need to take a shit earlier than usual.
Defcon 3: Very slight pressure. If you really, really needed to, you could probably for some turds out. If you do, it will probably be vey unfulfilling.

Defcon 2: The normal needing to shit. Ideal conditions under which to shit.
Defcon 1: Shit imminent. Basically, you better have your pants dropping as you hit the bathroom door or you're going to have a problem on your hands.

Dude, I'm currently at Defcon shit system level 3. We should probably pull over so I can shit soon.

by Tony's Pickle Jar February 28, 2023

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defbock

Used to define an over zealous manager's attempts to make everything a crisis. Defbock 1, situation ok, though Defbock 10, emergency crisis meeting needed.

Oh my god! We are at Defbock 9. We must have an emergency 5 hour staff meeting to talk about this! Make sure we have food because we can't stop for lunch.

by Steve June 5, 2003

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Related Words

Defno • defnotw • .defnotjayy • defnotadwtstan • defnotafamilyshow27 • defnotaldo • defnotjannetsspamlol • Defnotmoxy • Defne • deano

defcop

.(1)short for a definite cop (see cop).

yo that shirt is a defcop i have to have it.

by Dakota Stiles March 21, 2005

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Deformed

Someone whos name is crystal looks like a duck talks alot of shit about other ppl but clearly has never looked in the mirrior has the weirdest shaped body u will ever see

Hey is that deformed no thats crystal😉😌

by Tmv hoes November 22, 2018

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