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traveling salesman

(N) a fart in which the air that escapes creates a snapping sensation on the small of one’s back.

Antonym: reverse traveling salesman
Jon’s fart felt like someone snapped a rubber band across his tailbone; definitely indicative of a traveling salesman.

platonic bridge-salesman 

A crafty smooth-talker dude who initially claims to just want a "first base" friendship with a lady, but in reality is merely using this assertion as an "opener" to eventually getting into her pants.
Hot chick: Brandon claimed he just wants to take me for strolls hand-in-hand... yeah, right... sounds like da classic "platonic bridge-salesman" pitch to me --- I've seen how he looks at me whenever I wear a swimsuit or a sun-dress!

Traveling Chocolate-bars Salesman

To sell Chocolate, door to door to become rich enough, to take out a mom and her daughter on a date to Fancy restaurant under the sea in the Bikini Bottom.
Used in Sentence.

SpongeBob: Quick Patrick, without thinking, if you could have anything in the world right now, what would it be?

Patrick: Uhh...more time for thinking.

Sponge Bob: No, something real, an item, something you would pay for. Patrick: A chocolate bar?

Sponge Bob: That’s a great idea, Patrick! We’ll be TRAVELING CHOCOLATE-BARS SALESMAN.

flying tire salesman 

I told that flying tire salesman to take that ticket and shove it up his ass!

Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman 

Initially created to avoid having to say the term "groomer" (or relative terms such as "grooming") aloud when in the company of people, or in a place where you'd rather not have people hear you talking of such a topic. Especially when it comes to discussing the topic to someone who is easily triggered by the initial subject.
"Door-to-Door Calendar Salesman" is a code-term to use in place of a "child groomer."

"Selling calendars" means to commit the act of grooming.
"Going door to door" means they're searching for minors to groom.
"Asking a minor for calendars or photos of their calendars" means they're asking a minor for illegal sexual favours, or for sexually explicit photos of said minor.

Person A: "Have you heard that Onision has been going door to door and selling calendars?"
Person B: "What the fuck is up with that? Selling calendars...He should go to prison for it."

Shady Substance Salesman 

Another word for a drug dealer; a man who sells illegal substances.
It was discovered that she has been connected with a shady substance salesman who probably sold the stimulants to her.