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In the near future 

A phrase often described to something that will be done within a short time, the near. Nobody knows how long the near future is, its a mystery. It is often used to shut people the fuck up when they will ask when something will be done.
Sometime within the near future it will be done. Does that answer your question
Word of the Day on July 27, 2022
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prit' near 

shortened to mean "pretty near" or "almost". Primarily heard in Prince Edward County.
"It was prit ' near six o'clock by the time I got home from work Friday"

"I was driving late one night, I saw an animal, swerved and prit' near put 'er in the rhubarb"
prit' near by yo_yo_I_lovethecounty November 18, 2009

Rectum, damn near killed him! 

This is the punchline of complete joke:

Little Johnnie's teacher asked him how his weekend was.

"Horribly, a car hit my dog in the ass," he said.

She said, "Rectum."

"Wrecked him?" Johnnie said. "Damn near killed him!"

It's near Orlando 

A phrase commonly used by citizens of Oviedo, FL to explain to another about where they reside.
Jeff: Oh you live in Florida, what part?

George: Oviedo.

Jeff: Never heard of it.

George: It's near Orlando

Jeff: Oh okay, I know where that is.
It's near Orlando by Ba Zuke A January 3, 2011

Drug dealers near you 

the phrase for weird shady looking people near you
Coming soon to drug dealers near you!

Rectum? Damn Near Killed 'Em 

A punchline to a joke, the whole joke is almost never heard.
There are various setups to this punchline. Here's one:

One day Johnny walked into the classroom, and the teacher said, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He replied, 'no ma'am.' She said, 'if you don't have it done by tomorrow then I'm going to make a call to your parents.'

As Johnny is walking home from school he looks to his left and sees two greyhounds racing,and one gets so far ahead of the other one that it just stops and the other one rams its head right up its a**.

Johnny takes out a piece of paper and writes it all down, saying to himself, 'This is going to be my report.'

The next day at school the teacher says, 'Johnny, do you have your report done?' He says, 'sure do.' So he goes up to the front of the class and starts telling them what he saw. 'Yesterday I was walking home from school when I saw these two greyhounds racing, and one rammed its head right up the other's a**.' The teacher says, 'Johnny, we don't use the word 'a**' in the classroom, it's rectum.' Johnny said, "Rectum? Damn near killed 'Em."

Or this shorter version:

Teacher: So Johnny, how was your weekend?
Johnny: Horrible. A car hit my dog, right in the a**!
Teacher (correcting Johnny's language): Rectum.
Johnny: Wrecked 'em? Damn near killed 'em!