Jesus Crispy 

N. Meant as a derogatory description of fundamentalist Christians espousing "flakey" doctrine. Derived from cereal references. Rice Crispies, Rice Flakes etc.

"I wish that Jesus Crispy would stop trying to convert me."

Jesus Crispy by dirte13 April 27, 2006

Jesus Hugger 

A Christian

Oh John, you're my favorite Jesus hugger!

Jesus Hugger by Stewie55 April 26, 2011

jesus christ its jason bourne 

this is what the black guy says in the new Jason bourne movie.
I use this phrase when I see someone in my opinion, cooler than me.

Guy1: yo dude look who just walked into the bar!
Guy2: jesus Christ its Jason bourne!

jesus christ its jason bourne by The guy with website humor February 14, 2017

Jesus Smuggling 

When a person of the Christian faith takes a rational approach to a topic of discussion, and then reveals that their true intention was to bring Jesus in the back door of the conversation without anyone noticing until it's too late.

Tom pre-wrapped Jesus in a robe of logic before stepping forward and entering the conversation with Sammy and Mandy, look at all these facts Tom exclaimed peeling back the layers, Sammy and Mandy reviled in Tom's logic and drank in the refreshing ideas he had. Then as quick as a fiddle Tom unveiled his true intentions, bringing Jesus into the conversation! "Ahh your a damn Jesus Smuggler!" Sammy exclaimed, Mandy shook her head, she didn't like Jesus Smuggling. But it was too late and the damage was done, they had listened to his reasoning and the seed was sown in their mind.

Jesus Smuggling by Tybaltdavies July 21, 2019

Jesus Nade 

A phrase used in Shooter type games that involve Grenades.

Usually a randomly thrown Grenade that seems to come out of nowhere and kill you.
Upon watching the "Killcam" you discover the Grenade bounced off 4 different walls before finally detonating directly where you are.

Sometimes followed by a "Rage Quit".

BLaacKeN: Watch this nade spot FTW. I bet i get a double.

*throws nade*
*nade kills trevasco on the other side of the map*

trevasco: Wow where the fuck did that shit come from?!

*watches killcam*

trevasco: Yeah i WOULD get hit with a Jesus Nade.
Thanks alot Infinity Ward. Way to fuck up.

"trevasco left the game"

Jesus Nade by BLaacKeN March 9, 2010

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph 

The pinnacle of Catholic blasphemous interjections. Often shouted, and done so only when the situation calls for it.

*A giant brown bear runs into the middle of the road, as you are driving down it*

You: JESUS, MARY, AND JOSEPH! *Swerve*

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph by A Non-E Moose December 11, 2007

jesus is my homeboy 

One whos homeboy is jesus.

Jesus is my homeboy fo life.

jesus is my homeboy by cartman5000 August 9, 2004