Masturbation will make you go blind

Blindness caused from masturbation as a result of ejaculating into oneselfs eyeballs.

Grandma said masturbation will make you go blind

by Yourwrongangel November 3, 2020

Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October

When you want to nut in November so you do this.

Fuck No Nut November! Obsessive-Masturbation Syndrome is Real October it is!

by LazuliStar June 7, 2020

Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten.

Not only does it make you go blind and grow hair on your palms, but it also kills kittens!

Jeff: What are you doing in there Steve?
Steve: Um...masturbating
Jeff: Steve NO! Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Think of the kittens!

by 89diehl September 26, 2010

Masturbinge

Masturbating as much as you can in a short period of time

“Yeah, man. My period is starting soon so i gotta masturbinge before it starts”
“Mood”

by Area Rug June 10, 2018

Masturbinging

Dedicating a whole day and or weekend to the act of masturbating.

George: "Aye Mike, you wanna chill this weekend?"
Mike: "Naw man, Im gonna have a nice masturbinging this weekend."
George: "Okay man, just dont forget to clean up your mess."

by Rooster Luck December 5, 2010

Self-masturbation

1. When someone performs the act of masturbation on themselves.

2. When someone acts like an arrogant twat and tries to present themselves as being smarter, cooler or more important than they actually are, typically by being boastful and/or putting other people down.

This is most often seen online, but can also happen in real life.

1. John performed a little self-masturbation when he got home to relax.

2. Hank bragging about his supposedly high IQ and over-relying on five-dollar words came across as major self-masturbation in the YouTube comments section.

by TaxiFred November 18, 2023

Post-Masturbation paralysis

The moment that last 10-15 seconds after masturbation when you are immobile because you are questioning the existence of everything or you just beat your meat to hard

Bro last night I beat my meat and I couldn't move afterwards

That's just the Post-Masturbation paralysis, it's normal

by Assaddition November 17, 2019