Rules of Lingerie Shopping

1. Check the dirty laundry. While you woman is in the shower, check her bra and panty size. Nothing ruins a sexy gift of lingerie quicker than buying her something two sizes too big. No matter how good she looks, she's self concious about her figure.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.

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by The Jerkman December 28, 2011

shopaux

The way that a person dresses when playing a sport. How good he looks in a uniform.

Look at Dino's shopaux, the flow coming out of his helmet is so classy.

by froshberg September 28, 2007

shopping bulemia

The cycle of shopping, feeling guilt, and returning your purchases.

Tanya: I have bought and returned the same sweater from Old Navy four times.
Sharon: Tanya, you have serious shopping bulemia. There are people that can help you.

by W. T. January 9, 2010

Shopsticks

Someone who stands still in a store, remaining in the way. One who walks in the door and stops, blocking those following.

I couldn't get down the aisle because of all the shopsticks gabbing.

by Smartycat September 25, 2010

Shopping Calories

The amount of calories a person has to use specifically for shopping. Calorie count dependent on what one is shopping for and where. Compare with shopping window.

I swear, my husband has 2,000 shopping calories to use for the hardware store, and only 2 for shopping for housewares.

by Flowergrrrl03 November 30, 2010

shoppers elbow

A painful condition affecting one arm. Usually occurs during glutinous shopping around the holidays. Carrying loads of merchandise around a store in one arm will aggravate the muscles in the elbow and forearm.

Carrying all these $2.00 doorburster towel's is giving me shoppers elbow!

by Ddd17 March 2, 2016

shopdropping

The opposite of shoplifting (secretly removing desired merchandise from a store), this act involves ADDING items to a store shelf that you do NOT want, and which you wish to be rid of but prefer not to pay the disposal fees. Can be especially handy for non-violently getting even with the personnel of a certain business establishment who has previously been undeservedly rude/surly to you, since you can gloat about the fact that now THEY will have to pay for the disposal of said unwanted merchandise.

The holier-than-thou clerk at the corner video-game store was really obnoxious to me when I merely asked politely if I could please use the phone to call my parents and let them know I'd be late, so I did a little shopdropping with my obsolete game cartridges.

by QuacksO August 18, 2016