surface pro

An expression referring to a type of person who maintains an image or an implied level of professional skill, while not having a clue as to what the fuck they're supposed to be doing. Often has a truly vague job description and earns twice your paycheck or more.

Q: Shouldn't we run this by that guy who handles strategic corporate digital alliances or something?
A: Don't even bother. Dude's just a surface pro.

by Hansel San November 30, 2017

Surface putter

Someone who, instead of putting things away (ie: keys, purses, loose change, etc), puts them on any flat surface. The accumulation of such items usually results in the creation of a DOOM box.

"The dining room table is so cluttered with random items because my wife is a surface putter. I'm fixin' to make her a DOOM box."

by firepitt September 29, 2022

surface mount

When you blow your load on any surface and pushe someone on to the sticky puddle

When we were done banging I surface mounted Kim to her counter.

by DumDumDugan December 21, 2016

Elevated Surfaces

Usually at social gatherings, The alpha male of the group presents himself on an elevated surface to scope out the surroundings. Ensure group safety. A god of the sorts.

Check out Chad! He’s on an Elevated Surface, how cool is that?! Elevated Surfaces are so cool.

by TheGainzLord October 6, 2022

Surfaceable

The quality of being easily surfaced or brought to the foreground.

Our company uses shared technical interfaces to make projects surfaceable across the organisation, making it easier for people to find information about projects outside their immediate team.

by simsmith November 25, 2019

Surface titsion

When you wear a bra too small and your books almost spill out, but not quite.

Did you see the chick in the orange shirt? She has perfected the art of surface titsion.

by Demolitiondebbie April 1, 2017

wet surface

An area that recently had a squappy thrown at it.

I almost fell on that wet surface, damn that squappy!

by CentralAveBabies October 27, 2021