Laptop Microphone

A really fucking bad microphone that sounds like a built in laptop banana.

Horrible Microphone Kid: OMG IM SO GOOD AT THIS GAME GUYS IM BETTER THAN ALL OF YOU!
Studio Microphone Guy: Shut the fuck up and stop using your Laptop Microphone

by YoMommaJokesAreOld June 13, 2015

Microphone Molesting

When you're face timing someone and the microphone is being viciously blown into, rubbed on, etc.

"Stop microphone molesting, my ears hurt!"

by A Collection of Satanists October 9, 2017

Gaming Microphone

some shit you spend £100 on and you talk into it

i got a gaming microphone

by shoolug February 15, 2023

microphone

A thing that is used to stick up peoples asses to listen inside

"Honey, I'm ready. Get the microphone"

by TTV BenDaSheep April 10, 2024

Microphone Sausage

When you put a sausage on a microphone so you can eat while hella gaming.

Person 1: I commuted microphone sausage yesterday
Person 2: Thats an act of war

by ItzzRyanYo September 16, 2020

Microphone Blowdryer

The act in which someone rips cheeks into a microphone so someone on the other end can hear it. It is also used for sexual pleasure as you sniff the microphone with it being so close to your nose already.

Jared - Bro what was that noise
You - Sorry I was just doing a Microphone Blowdryer to myself

by Dinomax65 October 18, 2025

Microphone Warrior

A "Microphone Warrior" is somebody that will talk all kinds of smack through a gaming headset or a telephone. But doesn't have the balls to say it to your face.

1. I was playing Call of Duty and this "Microphone Warrior" wouldn't stop talking shit.

2. I confronted this dude over the phone and he was a straight "Microphone Warrior". When I told him where he could find me and that I'll be waiting he never showed.

by The OG Shockwaves81 March 13, 2024