Skip to main content

masturbate

One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.
Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.
by raspberry (lust) muffin July 28, 2005
mugGet the masturbate mug.

matchsturbating

When your striking a match that just wont light, but yet you keep trying to strike it.
Steve, quit matchsturbating and just take out a new match, obviously that one is a dud.
by Acdcmonkey April 29, 2009
mugGet the matchsturbating mug.

Mittsturbate

Verb. The act of partaking in masturbational activity using a baseball mitt. One must tenderize their preferred mitt and likewise toughen the area to be stimulated in order for successful mittsturbation to occur. After many sessions with one's mitt, the mitt will be considered "broken-in". Each session brings the mittsturbator closer to this desired state of mitt. This is an extremely advanced technique in terms of self stimulation, and should only be exercised when one considers himself (or her...self..) ready. Prerequisite: one must be a major league masturbator in order to commence in minor league mittsturbating.
John mittsturbated with his new Easton glove, which ultimately resulted in a pop-fly to center field.

Stanley asked his girlfriend to mittsturbate him. Unfortunately, she could not because she did not own a left-handed glove.
by Neezplz January 9, 2010
mugGet the Mittsturbate mug.

methsturbating

The art of Masturbating vigorously while high on crystal methamphetamines.
Man 1:Have you seen Dennis lately?

Man 2: Haven't seen him since he

went over to that tweeker B-Low's house

Man 1 I have seen him one time since then

On his way to his room with a bottle of lotion.

Man 2: I bet you he's been up all week Methsturbating!
by Kaisto October 5, 2010
mugGet the methsturbating mug.

masturbate

1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.
I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.
by fraghappy November 6, 2003
mugGet the masturbate mug.

masturbate

What to do whenever you aren't in school or at work. Actually, you can do it there too, but be subtle.
I masturbated while I wrote this definition for urban dictionary.
by IM JERKING OFF RITE NOW April 4, 2009
mugGet the masturbate mug.

No Masturbate March

A month which you can not masturbate, similar to No Nut November
Alan: Y'all ima go home to Masturbate
John: U can't do that it's No Masturbate March
Don't be like alan
Buy a calender
by WhyLolHey2 February 16, 2019
mugGet the No Masturbate March mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email