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Mittsturbate 

Verb. The act of partaking in masturbational activity using a baseball mitt. One must tenderize their preferred mitt and likewise toughen the area to be stimulated in order for successful mittsturbation to occur. After many sessions with one's mitt, the mitt will be considered "broken-in". Each session brings the mittsturbator closer to this desired state of mitt. This is an extremely advanced technique in terms of self stimulation, and should only be exercised when one considers himself (or her...self..) ready. Prerequisite: one must be a major league masturbator in order to commence in minor league mittsturbating.
John mittsturbated with his new Easton glove, which ultimately resulted in a pop-fly to center field.

Stanley asked his girlfriend to mittsturbate him. Unfortunately, she could not because she did not own a left-handed glove.
Mittsturbate by Neezplz January 9, 2010
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mattsturbate 

Manual sexual gratification inflicted by your own hand while thinking of or watching someone with the name Matt.
Thinking about Matthew McConaughey playing his bongos naked made me so horny that I had to go into the bathroom and mattsturbate.
mattsturbate by Aggggggggggg January 10, 2011

mikesturbate

When you masturbate to a Michael Jackson Video, Song, Movie, or to thinking about Michael Jackson Sexually
I'm going to Mikesturbate to the in the closet music video.
mikesturbate by Lastchancebitch September 13, 2015

METSturbate 

The intense, pleasureful and often sexually satisfying experience that all Mets have during Baseball's offseason. During this period any move the Mets make is regarded as the "Perfect Fit" and Mets fans drool at the idea that the team might finish better than .500. This is, of course, never the case.
John: Hey Rick, do you want to go see a movie later?
Rick: I can't, Mike and I are going to METSturbate together over Michael Cuddyer.
METSturbate by Jayzee123 November 15, 2014

Mathsturbate 

To take pleasure in solving useless maths problems
Dude, Chris loves to mathsturbate!
Mathsturbate by Chrismiths February 5, 2015

mindsturbate 

To masturbate only using one's mind. Titillation comes from stimulation of the brain. Ejaculation often indicated by concentrated spit being ejected from the mouth.
"At the MENSA meeting, I couldn't keep myself mindsturbating. Yes, the ladies were that good."
mindsturbate by $$$ February 21, 2004

Minsturbate 

Original meaning: Mind-masturbate or masturbate with your imagination or mind.
Better used as: have to think so hard about something that it's almost like you have to masturbate with your mind.

Or simply use the short MM for mind-masturbate.
Bill: Dude, what's up, you look fuck-up!
Gabe: Man, the exam was so hard, I had to minsturbate the answer!
Minsturbate by benweiss9 September 10, 2010
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countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
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Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
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A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
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