The Jessica Alba

Fisting a girl with honey as lubricant and smacking her forehead with a handful of semen and having her recite lines from the Fantastic Four comics.

Eddie: "I gave my girl a Jessica Alba last night."
Tom: "How'd she like it?"
Eddie: "I dunno man, she just kept screamin' "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" I'm definitely switchin' to molasses."

by Daniel Eastman April 23, 2005

jessica alba

1. To go from a beautiful, curvy, tanned Mexican-American woman to a cracked-out looking, bleached, railing pole that just got starring roles in major films after she was made to look even more blond and pale than Mexican/dark. You don't believe me? Google her pictures from when she starred in the Fantastic 4 film!

Trust me. They're gonna start bleaching Eva Longoria, too. That's Hollywood for you.

2. To have natural beauty but no acting talent.

Sue: I wanna be like Jessica Alba; use my beauty to star in that new Colin Farrell film.

Me: No you don't. When your looks start fading and your body changes shape, Hollywood is gonna dump you ass like old garbage. Go to acting school, first!

by twistedbabydoll August 15, 2007

The Alba

The art of putting your scrotum in a girl's vagina and performing internal teabagging.

Yo dude, that girl is so hot I gave her THE ALBA last night.

by AmazingHorse October 12, 2011

Jessica Alba

She is a multiracial actress who has a natural beauty and is intelligent, But has no talent in what she does for a living. In Hollywood...she is appreciated and rewarded only for her looks.

Women in movie theater: Wow Jessica Alba is so pretty and has the perfect "look" for this role!! but she's such a bad actress in it. Maybe she should go into modeling instead.

by Shabonki 86 December 12, 2008

jessica alba

HOTNESS masked in a human body

X: I suppose Jessica Alba is alright lookin'.

Y: (shoots X)

by Canard April 29, 2006

jessica alba

If you are male and you don't know who she is you are officially gay.

One who is attracted to cute women must have a vague idea who jessica alba is.

by Chickenwing21 October 11, 2006

mark alba

An asshole dickhead that lives in San Pedro California / doesn’t pay child support /hits women/fights physically with his family especially his brother more than anyone else /especially since Mark Alba can’t fight without backup/a rotten to the core toxic poisonous person /a husk of what would be considered a man at one point.

Dude did you see that mother fucking bitch Mark Alba?

by Someone who knows this truth September 6, 2020