Sub-species of wigger, a white
kid from a middle-class suburban family who acts like he hails from the Hood. A Funky Phantom is usually too busy recovering from rollin' with his homies (hence the "funky") to bother coming into work, thus causing problems even though he'
s usually invisible (hence the "phantom"). Is out of work two days a week and takes half-days the other three. Is all "Yo, keepin' it real" and thinks he's the ultimate babe magnet; whenever he talks to a
woman his voice drops to a deep whisper and he practically climbs on them in his efforts to seduce them. Claims he likes
people who are brutally honest but basically lives one gigantic lie, fo'
shizzle.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A FUNKY PHANTOM
Funky: Yo,
Allison, how's 'bout you and I go 'cross the street to the store and you can shizzle my dizzle bizzle?
Allison: Um, sure, sounds like fun, whatever it means!
Funky: Ya ya, I'm gonna be "keepin' it real" with my ho here for a while, G. You holds down the fort while I do my thang.
Me: Cut the crap, "homey." You ain't a playa, and the only crime you ever committed was stealing an
extra Oreo outta the cookie jar when you were ten. AND you've already taken ten "breaks" today.
Funky: Yo, G! Why you gotta be hatin',
Dawg? {dropping the act} Uh, my stomach hurts...I gotta go home...see ya tomorrow...
