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Surprise Jizz Theory

The Surprise Jizz Theory (SJT) Is when you close your eyes before you ejaculate, and spin, run, etc. around and when you're done, you open them, and see what you jizzed on. It could be your Carpet, TV, Girlfriend, or even your Cat!
Jack: Dude! I used the SJT yesterday, and it got all over my dog's face. He was pissed!

Steve: What's the SJT?

Jack: Surprise Jizz Theory.
by jizzyjizzer August 24, 2008
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Ejaculate Consumption Theory

The theory that consuming ejaculate from a male will increase the testing scores of females giving blow jobs before tests. This theory requires that the male be a reasonably intelligent guy.
The Deviant Gentleman convinced the pretty young lady that if she was to give him a blow job before her test, she would get a higher score. I can't believe she fell for the Ejaculate Consumption Theory.
by Bret Michaels January 8, 2008
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Gorman Uncertainty Theory

As H (homosexuality) and E (egotism) approach infinity, the Gorman hypothesis becomes easier to complete. The Gorman hypothesis is as follows:

A person cannot masturbate to completion if they are looking in a mirror thinking about themselves masturbating in a mirror thinking about... etc.
Toby tried to masturbate in the bus bathroom but could not finish in front of the mirror thus proving the Gorman Uncertainty Theory.
by F.M.A.M.G. March 4, 2010
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Echinoderm Constellation Theory

This is the theory that the constellations when viewed all at once resemble the underside of a sea star, with major clusters of stars representing the mouth and the various stars extending form arms with small ossicles, spines, and tube feet.
That pot head is a huge supporter of the Echinoderm Constellation Theory.
by JewlEN December 27, 2007
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Green Bottle Theory

A theory that states that any beverage (I.E. a liquid you drink) that comes packaged in a Green Bottle mixes well with anything else that comes in a Green Bottle.

Examples of things that come in Green Bottles
Sodas such as Mellow Yellow, Squirt, Sprite, Mountain Dew, and 7-Up.
Alcoholic beverages the comes in green bottles such as Heineken, Tanqueray, Midori, Hard Ciders, some Wine, and Jagermeister.
Other things such as NyQuil, some Teas, and other such things
by Prof.FankN.Stein October 11, 2011
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White Shorts Theory

The theory that states that any girl wearing white shorts will always look attractive at a distance, especially at night. Always. This theory might produce actual results of the forementioned girl actually being attractive, but she will definitley look slightly less attractive than what you imagined her to be.
Guy: "Yo duuuude, check out that girl in the white shorts, she looks bangin'!"
Theorist: "I dunno man, remember white shorts theory. She could totally be an uggo."
Guy: "Good call, I'll get closer and scope her out."
by Duke92 October 26, 2010
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Wall Post Theory

The Wall Post Theory states that the probability of someone hooking up with a particular individual is directly correlated to the number of Facebook wall posts made by that individual.

The Text Message and Poke Corollaries state the same for text messages and Facebook pokes. This correlation is even stronger but not as useful due to the lack of publicly available information.
I saw her facebook - he was all over her wall and
I said, "Yo, who was that?" "Oh, he's just a friend"
Don't gimme that, don't ever gimme that
Jus' bust this

You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
And you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend, oh baby
You, you got what I need but you say he's just a friend
But you say he's just a friend

~ Biz Markie if he knew the Wall Post Theory
by wallposttheory July 26, 2010
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