to fasten one's seatbelt. The similarities between the two are endless: everyone hates them, they are for protection, not wearing them can be quite risky, and girls never use them.
Steve: Hey, Andrew, put on your condom. This could be a rough ride.
Andrew: Shut up Steve. But I guess I should...
Andrew: Shut up Steve. But I guess I should...
by My Girlfriend's Friend December 17, 2010
Get the Put on your condom mug.When on her way to the bar, Theresa wanted to stop by her place to pick up her puppy first. Theresa is so condo!
by Eatmoreokra October 31, 2008
Get the condo mug.Related Words
conjob
• conjoined twin
• conjo
• Conjojulate
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• ConJoyin my loins
• conjobbled
• Conjobulate
• Conjobulation
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A gay man who wants to have sexual intercourse with another man, notifying him by giving him a condom as a present. Especially, a flavored condom.
Ben "I got you something cool for your birthday."
Jeremy "Really dude? Thanks, what is it?"
Ben "A flavored condom"
Jeremy "NO BEN! I'm not gay, I will not have sex with you! I like women!"
Jeremy "Really dude? Thanks, what is it?"
Ben "A flavored condom"
Jeremy "NO BEN! I'm not gay, I will not have sex with you! I like women!"
by shepj November 3, 2007
Get the Flavored Condom mug.A condom which has been punctured by a needle in order to cause deliberate pregnancy. Frequently used by Hungarian and eastern European women who have sex with douchebags.
Al: I think that eastern European girl I fucked is pregnant.
Mike: Of course it is Al. You are so stupid, always on the phone that you did not realized she used Hungarian condoms on your dumb ass.
Mike: Of course it is Al. You are so stupid, always on the phone that you did not realized she used Hungarian condoms on your dumb ass.
by buck neckid ALM September 22, 2011
Get the hungarian condom mug.by lookDudeImAnN June 28, 2004
Get the concord mug.A latex, polyurethane, or natural sheepskin oblong barrier placed over the penis for eliminating most chance of pregnancy for human males who can:
1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.
Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.
Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.
The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
1. Actually fit into the damned things without losing all bloodflow and causing permanent damage.
2. Do not experience an extremely vast, sexually debilitating loss of sensitivity due to the thickness of the material and the lack of circulation.
Condoms, among those with penises longer than 190mm or wider than 52mm, are sometimes likened to wrapping a standard rubber band around one's wrist sixteen times and then trying to play a musical instrument, such as a piano or guitar, using that hand, for an hour. Generally, in such a scenario, one's hand will experience first pressure, followed by throbbing pain, succeeded by a piercing pain, ending finally in numb limpness and likely permanent or long-lasting damage to nerve endings or blood vessels.
Such individuals generally protest that while condoms are a brilliant invention, they need to be made to accomodate more human proportions, as they are available in two basic sizes: short and fat, or long and narrow. In all latex or polyurethane cases, the elastic band at the base of the condom is always 2" (0.06mm), which is the root of the problem yet does not vary with the width of the shaft and head areas of the condom sizes.
The only reasonably sized condoms in these cases are the natural condoms, which are unfortunately made of sheep intestine, and smell like it. Yet this type proves an option preferrable over the absurd designs of the vast repertoire of other condom types.
'Jeanette is pregnant now.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
'What? Kevin, didn't you wear a condom?'
'Yeah, it was actually the first time we ever used a condom in our seven years of having sex, but I stayed inside her for hours and didn't notice until it was too late, because I was wearing the condom.'
'Wow. Should have stuck with withdrawal, huh?'
'Yeah, definitely.'
by Kyle Lees April 26, 2006
Get the condom mug.A piece of latex that is put on man's penis to prevent a child and women who will steal your money for 18 years.
*people on mary*
woman: "he is yo child1 I am 5000% sure!
man: "he ain't mine, I was wearing a condom!"
woman: "you owe me some child support you deadbeat!"
mary: "in the case of the little baby, sir, you are not the father."
woman: *runs of stage crying*
woman: "he is yo child1 I am 5000% sure!
man: "he ain't mine, I was wearing a condom!"
woman: "you owe me some child support you deadbeat!"
mary: "in the case of the little baby, sir, you are not the father."
woman: *runs of stage crying*
by urbandictionarydefz April 14, 2011
Get the Condom mug.