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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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pit rub

Will's was smelling dank nasty, so we threw him a tube of pit rub.
by nateabel October 14, 2006
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Funyun Rub

The act of placing as many funyuns as possible on your member and then proceed to receive a handjob
"Billy asked for a funyun rub last night and I couldn't complain. "
by RJ Dicktiddles February 16, 2017
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Rub-a-D

A saying used if one is appearing to be either a little boring, or a term used if one is being a little bitch.

Also used to tell someone to "Grow up" or perhaps to stop being so uptight.
Oh, Karen. Rub-a-D.
by P3N1510V3R July 15, 2024
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flat hand rub

When you squeeze a fat boys dick and then rub it with a flat hand
I flat hand rubed big willz
by Big willz March 11, 2019
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rubbing out the kids

Craig was rubbing out the kids before work.
by assographer March 2, 2018
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Rub Rash

When you are masturbating for an extended period of time with any lubricants, developing either a rash or lacerations around and on your crotch
Dam I cant walk straight cause last night I was sent some hot nudes and jacked off all night! Even though I had no lube! Now I got a RUB RASH!
by LatelyDrowsy January 18, 2018
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